You Know You Have a Baby with Reflux when...

Jan Gambino Health Guide
  • A few years ago, I compiled a tongue-in-cheek list called, "You Know You have a Child with Severe Reflux When...". Some of the members of the Parent Forum at www.reflux.org have created a new list. Funny and sad at the same time, we have all been there.

     

    You know you have a baby with reflux when...

     

    1. He's 4 months old and knows how to wipe his own face.
    2. You own over 30 bibs.
    3. You have twice as many burp cloths as bibs.
    4. You have clothes for YOU in the diaper bag.
    5. You ensure that all furniture in the house is either made of leather, micro fiber or it is disposable.
    6. You can tell when someone ELSES' baby is refluxing, just by the expression on their face!
    7. Each and every outing is planned around the fact that a feeding takes up to an hour, plus holding your child upright for at LEAST 30 minutes before putting her in the car seat.
    8. You are an expert at administering medication to an infant.
    9. Going to the hospital is somewhat of a relief because the nursing staff will help feed her in the middle of the night and hold her while she screams in pain after a feeding so that YOU can finally get some sleep.
    10. While she is in the hospital, you get to sleep lying down instead of in a recliner.
    11. You have your own parking spot at the GI doctor.
    12. You know every pediatric nurse by name at the two closest hospitals.
    13. Your "burp cloths" are actually receiving blankets.
    14. The other people in your apartment building NEVER get the washing machine, because it's constantly in use.
    15. Your closest friends and family tell you you're crazy and there is nothing wrong with your child. But NO ONE ever volunteers to help you out!!!!
    16. All you can eat is carbs and junk food because if you eat anything else your breast fed baby will throw up all night.
    17. You have your burp cloths arranged in the drawer by actual usefulness with those puny little wash cloth-looking things that non-refluxing moms get to use WAAAAY back in the back corner under the baby bath robes.
    18. You are constantly bathing your baby or lathering her with lotion and baby powder so that she smells of something other than vomit when people pick her up.
    19. You tell your three-year-old son to get his shoes on so that we can go to the 'baby doctor' and he asks you, "Which one?"
    20. Your hydro bill has doubled since the baby was born because the washing machine is always running.
    21. Your spit rags show up in all your baby photos and you don't even notice!
    22. Your clothes contain spit-up stains!
    23. You can tell where you have been all day and what you have been doing by the trail of "burp" clothes throughout the house!
    24. A good day out is when you only have been puked on once! Then you feel dressed up!

     

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    Note: This list was compiled by Jan Gambino based on a Parent Forum titled," You know you have a baby with reflux when..."at www.reflux.org. Thank you to all of the moms who contributed to this humorous list. And thanks to the babies who taught us everything we needed to know about reflux: Mila, Robby, Maggie, Aurora, Brandon, Beth, Aubrey, Conner, Gabriel, Halley, Elyse, Nate, Adam, Owen and Madalyn.

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    For more information on infant acid reflux, see our guide

Published On: October 15, 2007