i know 6 ppl not treating their adhd. 2 of them are not aware that they are adhd 2 don tlike the medications and feel they dont need it. one is the child of the first 2 and will not be getting treatment after she turns 18 becasue he/she thinks he/she can handle life without it since he/she has done so all his/her life already. My last one was forced by society (CPS/ CYFD INVOLVEMENT) to take the medications all threw childhood and now refuses to take meds now as an adult.This persons quote to me was (" now I get to decide what I want to put in my body and I get to find out what I can handle") Plus i dont think he/ she can afford the medication he needs.
My husband was a lawyer and an officer in the navy intelligence section, in the reserves. We had 4 kids together. He was constantly getting into trouble for being late EVERYWHERE, espec to work, couldnt get his clients work done by the deadlines and therefore they got foreclosed on, cars were repossessed, etc. Finally we were sued by 27 people and he had so many complaints made to the bar, which the bar gave him one month to simply provide an answer on a check-off sheet and to send it back, which would have stopped the suits tho he could still get suspended from practicing. I did everything i could to help him, short of going to court for him. He didnt even answer the complaints which would have taken all of three minutes!!! He lost his licence to practice forever! We almost lost our house paying back 27 people. He still denied a problem, and no therapist mentioned ADD, even tho all four of my kids have it. Their therapists didnt mention it either, and when i brought it up said i was enabling him, that he was just oppositional and resistive, that he wouldve been dx'd in childhood. Well, they shouldve bc he had every sx. Anyway, he got fired from every job he took within 90 days. He then lost security clearance with the navy from this and bc he was AWOL several times for his weekend on duty or late, he was discharged dishonorably, causing another loss in income. Now we had just mine and four little kids and a house i had just built with my own credit/money before all this occurred. To pay daycare (my husb wouldnt even watch the kids tho he was home) and bills, i had 2 jobs. I would come home to a mess, with him saying whats for dinner? This is at 7 pm after picked up the kids from daycare bc he was so frequently late doing even that they were going to kick us out. I took this for 13 yrs and after having our house almost taken, utilities cut off, the outrageous stress on the kids with this and his refusal to get help, we divorced. That was 10 yrs ago and he still works as a telemarketer where he has no real boss and can come and go. It took him about 20 jobs to find this one, but being a lawyer and working in a booth making minimum wage blows my mind. He of course hasnt paid child support in 9 yrs and i stopped taking him to court bc it cost me more than he owed. I figure by now there should be enough to go to court over finally. When we were together he didnt take care of the kids or the house or yard. My once beautiful house should be condemned by the EPA its falling apart and filthy. My credit was trashed. I am remarried and have another home but it costs so much bc my credit and the housing bubble happened. He is totally untrustworthy, and he didnt take care of our cars, letting me get stranded with four kids cuz of a flat or something that couldve been prevented.ADHD definitely ruins relationships. We had no social life either as he zoned out on conversations and was always late or forgot to meet us. He couldve at least tried a med but he denied everything. Its so nice to be married to someone who doesnt have ADD!!!
I tried for over 20 yrs as an adult to find someone who would get me the adhd diagnosis i needed. I have 5 adhd children and i was told i was not adhd i was told i was oppositional defiaint, bipolar, dementia, and many other "" diagnosis" by so called psychyitrists. Back when i was in elementry shcool when i should have been diagnosed with adhd. there was no such thing. my children are from ages 23 to 13. After ADHD ruined my life and cost me my children I FINALLY FOUND AN ADHD SPECIALIST AND GOT MY PROPER DIAGNOSIS. It is too late for me to get my children back but maybe some day CPS/CYFD AND ALL THE MEDICAL PROFESSION WILL PULL THEIR HEADS OUT AND GET ADHDRS THE HELP THEY NEED INSTEAD OF MAKING THEIR LIVES HARDER AND MORE STRESSFUL.
To Rewind, who replied. I am so very sorry to hear your story. You truly sufffered your whole life and probably was wondering why people were upset with you or thought the things you said bc back then there was no ADHD. But today its the most under diagnosed and the most over diagnosed too, and some drs are still in the dark re: adult adhd. Probably every "adult onset" adhd is really someone who struggled thru childhood with relationships, obedience and poor grades bc they did indeed have adhd. I am a psych RN and i heard many psychs say it is over dx'd as well as under, and i do see that too, espec for college kids who want stimulants to do better in school or adults who want to perform and focus even better. But they should error on the side of the pt, and if its seems the person really doesnt have it, then stop rx'ing meds, but dont make a person lose everything over something so fixable. In my case, being married to someone with such severe ADHD that it was nearly impossible to motivate him to do anything to improve our lives or marriage, and the kids came to resent him, as did i. I have told him he has it and should get on meds but he still wont, and as i see over the past decade he is still spinning his wheels stuck in the mud, and my kids and i are so far ahead now and thriving finally. I feel sorry for him but at the same time i am glad i moved out of that situation cuz it would still be going on. Im glad you wanted meds to improve your life. Your kids will come around. Send them info off the internet about adhd in adults and they will see you in it and hopefully they will be forgiving and loving, you sure do deserve it after all this time! Good luck!
I am so sorry you have had a hard time but am glad you have found happiness now. Even though you are still working through credit problems, it sounds like you now have a life partner that you can work side by side with.
Eileen
What a terrible time you have had. I am so sorry. I can understand, I struggled for many years with my son (he is now 25) but even 20 years ago when I was searching for answers, doctors told me many things, such as "he is having a hard time with your divorce," "he is not adjusting well to his new baby sister," "he isn't depressed, he just doesn't like school." Although not as bad as you seem to have, I wanted to let you know that someone understands how frustrating your experience is.
I am glad you now have a diagnosis and can move forward with your life. I will keep you in my thoughts.
Eileen