Monday, November 29, 2010
In last week's post we talked about what to do when you must discipline your child when at a family function or in public. One of the tips was to talk to your child beforehand and review expectations, in other words, give your child instructions on how to behave. This is true no matter what situ...
Y'know... as I was reading through this post, I kept thinking that so much of it applies to life in general. Effective communication, whether instructing a child, trying to resolve a conflict, managing staff, women trying to wrangle their men (
) all have certain things in common. Be clear about your expectations, be specific, give positive reinforcement. Maybe we should all print out this postand put it on the fridge...
Being clear about expectations, prior to an event, is important. What is equally as important, and often overlooked, is making sure your child is CLEAR and UNDERSTANDS what is expected.
This means there are no assumptions your child understands what is expected simply because they responded with a "Yes, I understand" response. Sometimes the "yes" is a fast and easy way of getting the parent/s off their back.
After conveying what behavior you both hope for, ask your child to mirror back, or summarize in their words, what their intention is for the event. This will give you the opportunity to listen to any inaccuracies or gaps in their understanding which can be explained again until you are sure they have an accurate understanding. Once you know your child has correctly interpreted the message, it will have a greater chance of being executed.
Also, by checking in with your child, it models good listening and communication skills they can learn to use when communicating with other people.
David
Thanks so much for adding to this. It is so important to both be clear and to make sure you are understood. Glad you took the time to add to the post.
Eileen
Eileen,
I appreciate you taking the time to support the importance of clarity in all communication. It not only includes the dissemination of the message but the understanding of it as well.
Thanks again,
David
Hi Eileen,
I appreciate you taking the time to support the importance of clarity in all communication. It not only includes the dissemination of the message but the understanding of it as well.
Thanks again,
David