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Relationships
Linda
Thursday, April 23, 2009 at 11:11 AM -
long time married to ADD hubby
MrsA
Monday, June 15, 2009 at 03:27 PMI've been with my hubby for 18 years now. It's not easy, but it is doable. Sometimes the level of frustration can be overwhelming. He has improved on a lot of his ways, but forgets a lot of times too. I have just learned to pretty much stay on my path, to do whatever I am doing and accept that he might jump on my path occasionally. At times he has a hard time accepting that I am not like him and I'm not going to have a dozen projects open at one time. As I learned not to get so annoyed with him and just accept him, now he gets annoyed with me not being like him. It's not an easy life being married to a spouse with ADD. Sometimes I sit and wish for "normal", whatever that may be.
re: long time married to ADD hubby
Josie65
Sunday, September 20, 2009 at 11:29 PMHi,
I've been married for 16 years and only about 2 years ago did he do a self test which put him in the add/adhd group. And what a load off that was when I read the questions and answers. It's so completely him and now he can identify how his entire life he's been this way. For many years I felt that his 'freak outs' and emotional ups and downs were somehow my fault. Now I have a peace of mind to realize he's going thru some kind of a little cycle and will snap out of it as though nothing happened.
He's a good father and husband. Just very short tempered. But worst of all is how I've spent so many years questioning myself like I'm in my own private twilight zone. It's like he has some kind of short term memory loss. Even a few months down the road he has spaced out on how we may have decided on a childrearing issue, or esp. a
financial one.
I'm trying to figure out if maybe we wrote down agreements and dated and signed then as at least agreed on guidelines it would work. When I bring up how we had decided to handle a specific issue, he thinks I'm pulling some control thing, but he had thought it thru with me before and agreed. I'm still on that page, and he's totally spaced out with all different spur of the moment ideas. Any suggestions?
re: re: long time married to ADD hubby
MrsA
Monday, September 21, 2009 at 12:19 AMSorry to disappoint you, but I have no real ideas of how to get him settled down, with the exception of finding the right meds if he will take them. I just don't let mine drag me down any paths I choose not to go on. He sometimes will travel in large circles but eventually will find the same path I am on. Good luck and try not to let it bother you when he babbles his "ideas" and "thoughts" and "scemes". At least all the kids here are raised and I don't have to deal with him saying things to them and then try to explain why he cannot follow through on what he says.
re: re: re: long time married to ADD hubby
Josie65
Monday, September 21, 2009 at 12:28 AMYeah,
Fortunately the 5 kids ages 2-14 sort of take daddy's moods with a grain of salt. It's just good to know there are other couples out there like us. I don't let him drag me on to those short rollarcoaster rides anymore and I'm so much happier.
thanks
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Thank you
Anonymous
Friday, September 11, 2009 at 08:57 AMI am 20years old and live with my boyfriend.
About a year ago i found out that i have ADHD, when me and my boyfriend started dating, i tried to tell him about it, and that i have it.
And its been about 8months that we been dating and he still doesn't understand.
I would like to thank you for this, may he will understand now.
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That article was wonderful. If I my ex'es had read it we probably would still be together because my symptoms come out a LOT!