Spouse Denial - Taking Care of You
More in the Series: Spouse Denial of ADD
Taking Care of You
As the spouse of someone that may or may not have ADD, but doesn't want to find out either, your life probably has your ups and downs. Some may describe it as a roller coaster ride, never knowing what to expect next. While there may be many reasons you fell in love and married your spouse, there may also be days you wondered why you stayed.
But life would be better, you say, if only they would see the doctor, accept their ADD, go for treatment or learn to make adjustments. But they won't. Life is, as my sister says, exactly what it is. The reasons that you fell in love are still there, your spouse is still the person you chose to marry. Their good qualities are still there, their kindness, their laughter and their caring is still there. Remembering this is very important.
Taking care of you is equally important. Below are some tips to help you:
1) Find a hobby that you enjoy. Taking the time to do something you like will help you to cope with everyday stresses. You might enjoy gardening or scrap booking; you might enjoy photography or reading. Find at least one hour each week where you can be alone (or with friends) to work on what you enjoy. Talk to your spouse about how important this is to you and let them know when you are going to schedule in "your hour (or afternoon or evening)."
2) Look for a local support group. Some spouses attend weekly support groups for ADD, even though they do not have ADD. These weekly sessions help them to better understand their spouses, talk with other people that may be going through the same thing or talk with other spouses.
3) Develop a network of friends that you can call to vent or let off steam. Let them know in advance that this is what you are doing. This way they won't try to solve your problem, let them know you just need someone to listen to you.
4) Visit online sites, such as this one at Health Central, and "talk" with other people on forums. This is a great way to share information with one another.
5) Take at least one night off from cooking dinner and taking care of the family. Order pizza or let your spouse know in advance that every Monday (or whatever day) will be your night off from household chores. Dinner needs to be ordered or your spouse can take over cooking for one night. Someone else needs to be responsible for cleaning up after dinner. Laundry, straightening up or anything else can wait one more day to get done.
Incorporating at least some of these tips into your weekly schedule will help you to remember "you" and allow you some time to take care of yourself, instead of spending every moment taking care of your family.