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Your depiction of Ned Hallowell was quite accurate. I should know because I was one of his former patients.
I learned through him and one of his former associates how to see my ADD as an asset that allows me to hyper-focus and complete projects more thoroughly and in less time than most people, even though like Ned, I take no ADD prescriptions.
My capacity to work in a focussed manner due to ADD includes is illustrated by my completing my recently published book, Conquer Prostate Cancer: How Medicine, Faith, Love and Sex Can Renew Your Life (at www.ConquerProstateCancer.com), which I wrote in 10 months and edited during four additional months. This is a book Dr. Hallowell, - with the typical generosity you accurately described, graciously endorsed, in part because my book, - like one of his books on coping with worry, also dwells on effective "stress-busters", even when a man and those he loves is affected by prostate cancer and its treatment outcomes.
Like Dr. Hallowell I too was an adult when I discovered my ADD, although I was in my mid-50's and not in the late '20's as he was at the time. But again like him, I identified this syndrome only after I compared my less desirable ADD traits with those I shared with the younger generation - in this case, my daughter!
Interestingly enough I discovered this long after I too attended a different Ivy League school than the one Ned attended, and well after I had been a Jewish congregational rabbi and community leader for a couple of decades, apart from 4 years of teaching at the college level.
All this underscores the truth of Dr. Hallowell's insight that ADD is something of a curse, but it can be a blessing too!
Rabbi Ed Weinsberg
I, too, have had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Hallowell and have been impressed with his sincerity in trying to help both his patients and people around the world with his speeches and his books and with his vast amount of knowledge of how ADHD impacts a person's life.
I think this is a matter of "you can't please everyone" and therefore you must do what you think is best and do it in a manner that you feel you can make a difference. As a writer and someone who tries to share information with the public, I know there will always be someone that disagrees with you.
Dr. Hallowell is an asset to the ADHD community and I know that I have gained much just through the small association I have had with him.
Eileen Bailey
I find it VERY disturbing how often I am reading about people describing ADHD as a "gift" and it's ALWAYS those one's who've managed to become a successful person throughout their lives and to function reasonably well with the symptoms of ADHD they have!!
Yes, I also have a lot of positive traits, am creative and a very kind and empathetic person who loves to help others BUT I certainly don't attribute it to the fact that I have ADHD!!! There's a great many people with those same positive ways about them who DON'T have to suffer with the disabling problems that ADHD also brings with it.
I just don't understand how these people can trivialise the terrible forgetfullness, the distractibility, the massive difficulty to prioritise and start anything or finish those tasks started, that doesn't hold the interest 100%!!
The chronic stress of losing time, being late, letting down people, the emotional lability and for some of us, a lack of sense of direction.
What about the learning disabilities that often come with it??? Is that a gift as well to these people?? Obviously not as they don't appear to have to any of those problems and can so spout about it as a "gift".
I wish I didn't get so angry when I read about it and could just let it roll off my back but I'm an overly emotional person and have trouble in that area, especially when I feel like there must be something wrong with ME to not appreciate what "gift" the ADHD has given me or my severly affected foster-son OR the numerous other young sufferers that I know and care for!! I wish it didn't exist, that's how much I consider it a "gift" and the older I get (I'm now 45), the worse it has become! Something to really look forward to!
These people are lucky that they weren't afflicted severely enough for the ADHD to have a serious negative impact on their lives and it's great for them but it minimises and invalidates the difficulties that a lot of us do have with this disorder and upsets me, for one, as it's just become so prevalent!!!
I apologise if I've offended anyone with my opinion but even though I don't normally post anything, this time I felt I had to.
Thank You, Michele
I wanted to respond to Michele, I totally agree with her. ADD or ADHD is not a gift. I have struggled with ADD all my life, I am in my mid thirties now. It is really rough. I don't talk to people I have no friends, because of ADD. People look at me like im stuck up and don't want to talk to me. I am neither. I look at other people in my family and see that they are successful EVERYONE in my family, but me. It really hurts, but i have no one to talk to about it, so I have learned to deal with it the best way possible. Thank you.
Hi Juju,
I'm pasting a support group for adults with ADD/ADHD for you. It's: aadd@yahoogroups.com
They are a really good bunch of people and extremely supportive of their members. I have received the daily digests for a few years now and though I rarely post messages myself, I have found that I have learned so much from their shared experiences and difficulties.
Even before I was diagnosed myself nearly 10 years ago, I had a great interest in the disorder as I worked with children who have it. I had read so much on it then but it hasn't been until diagnosed myself and researching constantly since then, that I've realised I knew nothing about the complexities of this disorder and how it affects me/us in so many more ways than I would ever have dreamed possible!!
I STILL learn new things every day and mostly from others who experience this and though I can't say it has made living with it any less difficult, it has certainly given me a much greater understanding of the extremely confusing aspects of my personality and behaviours.
Instead of living trying to hide my weaknesses and be as competent and 'normal' as everyone else appears to have no difficulties with, I now don't bother trying to hide the difficulties I have in many areas because I KNOW I have a reason (not excuse) for the way I am. It was SO hard to keep up the facade that I could do things just as easily as everyone else. It was also often humiliating when I'd be trying too hard and make the continuous silly mistakes I always manage to achieve.
Not trying to always prove myself has made life a lot easier in that sense and communicating with others of similar issues has been extremely valuable in helping me to accept a bit more that I am the way I am and it's not entirely of my own making or choice!!
In regard to you having trouble speaking to people or have friends, I used to be like that from
childhood until my early 20's but I did tend to manage to keep 1 friend at a time usually. I used to be extremely moody and VERY easily irritated. Never happy or if so, it didn't last more than a very short time. I had trouble with finding anything interesting enough to talk about when people I didn't know well, or at all, tried to strike up a conversation with me or else I couldn't find any interest in what they were talking about. I'd be so concious of not having any words to say, that I'd just want them to go away and leave me alone before they discovered how boring or stupid I (thought) I was.
I got so sick of people making sarcastic comments like "Shut up Michele, You talk to much", when all I was doing was listening to people and not having any input of my own.
I thought I was just painfully shy and that's the only reason I couldn't talk to people, even though my own thoughts would constantly be racing and I'd have conversations with so many people in my head. It just rarely happened in reality and always afterwards, I'd be thinking..."I should've said that..or this, etc..".
It wasn't until my late 20's that I discovered I'd always had Chronic Dysthmia (mild depression, which often co-exists with ADD/ADHD). I ended up developing Major Depressive Disorder also and put on anti-depressants (I've been on a number of various types for many years now). Since I've been on them, my constant irritibility decreased greatly and I actually developed far more patience and tolerance than I ever imagined I possible for me. The tiniest little thing didn't bug me anymore. I'm still very prone to getting depressed in the normal sense and often don't feel like talking to anyone but it doesn't last any longer than 3-4 days with me and I go back to being the chatterbox I became once I was put on anti-depressants. Unfortunately, they don't help much with being overly emotional and overreactive about things I really care about.
My Psychiatrist told me if I hadn't had Chronic Dysthmia from early childhood onward, which caused the irritibility and apparently my difficulties in social interaction, etc.., I would most likely been more of the chatterbox then that I am now.
I'm not hyperactive in the stereotypical "physical" way that most people seem to think it only involves. I've always been more hypo-active in that sense but I've always constantly fidgetted and fiddled with my hands, legs, feet, toes, tongue and various muscle movements while I'm sitting. I also have a very hyperactive mind and now for many years,...mouth!!! I can talk to a brick wall, if I had to.
I'm not sure whether this may be relevant for you to look into for yourself but just in case, I thought I would mention it because from what I've learned, I seriously doubt the majority of people and many proffessionals realise how dysthmia frequently co-exists with ADD/ADHD and how much it can impact on a child/persons life, especially as it doesn't present itself as how one would expect someone depressed to act.
I was just a moody, anxious, difficult, emotional kid at home and generally silent everywhere else. It's not like being full-on depressed, so you can't describe it to people as such and when PMS came into the picture, well it just quadrupled the irritibility factor and everyone and everything became a pain in the neck and made me very unpleasant to live with. (For those that may think it sounds like Bi-Polar - No, i'm not & nor do I have BPD).
The unfortunate thing about ADD/ADHD is that it very rarely ever exists on it's own!! Instead, it is far more common to exist with at least 2 or more other disorders alongside it as well.
Due to this extremely frequent and well-researched problem, in my opinion, I believe that those people in the minority, who have managed to function very successfully with their own ADD/ADHD and even excel in many cases, are probably those very LUCKY few and far between individuals who aren't burdened with what the rest of us have to endure INCLUDING our own ADD/ADHD difficulties.
I hope you do give the support group I linked at look at and if you do, that it helps you to get things off your chest that you need and want to share with others who will understand exactly where you are coming from and without judgement whatsoever.
All the best,
Regards, Michele
Dr. Hallowell presents compelling evidence that ADHD is not the one-sided, debilitating disorder that many clincians and experts contend. We need more balance in the ADHD discussion by first focusing on the high achievers who thrive because of resiliency, high-energy, creativity, and passion.
Don K Potochny
http://www.adhd-information-exchangec.om
All 3 of my children have ADHD and let me tell you IT IS NOT a "gift". Granted two of them have many other problems along with it, but for my oldest ADHD is the worst! She is so hyper that she would run down the Energizer bunny! I do not agree with anything in this article. I have seen many doctors, therapists and read practically all of the books available and tried them all..........conclusion, nothing works.......except TIME and alot of hard work, and I cannot forget the great patient teachers that help me work with her at school.
As far as I am concerned (MY OPINION ONLY!), there are no experts in anything because there is always something new to be learned everyday.....and some things I have even taught those that were supposed to be "experts". I could go on and on, this is a big issue with me, along with other parents.
i do feel that having add has many benefits for me. no barriers no mental restictions not thinking in the usual mannor and very diverse thought.that being said i dont have the time or patients to list the downside. i think the best way i could explain is when i listen to music my taste range from ozzy ozbourne to louis armstrong from the hard to the soft pop to classical to jazz.thats the good side the bad side over time i took lessons for guitar drums and vocals quitting in short fashion.but do keep in mind that i believe everyones add is for the most part unique to the individual
There are ups and downs to just about everything so I don't see why people must be so black and white over whether ADHD is a curse or a gift. There can be strength through adversity and just as much strength through acceptance and acknowledgement of your shortcomings. Creativity is considered a great trait, but it is usually accompanied by disorderliness. Inattention is usually considered negative, but it is usually when I am inattentive that the most fascinating and intellectual thoughts are floating through my mind, then I appear completely stupid because during my thoughts at a bus stop, I might just hop on the wrong bus without noticing until it's too late.
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 7 (I am 21 now). I was lucky to have attended a private school when I was younger because that made High School and so far College really easy for me. I sometimes wonder if I would have turned out much worse in the public school system, where even normal kids turn out pretty dumb. I am great at academics, yet I'm terrible about organizing my homework sometimes. But once I find a certain PHYSICAL system of organization and keep repeating it, it makes things a little bit easier.
I'm also very weird in social situations and I attract a lot of other weird people. My sense of humor is somewhat absurd. I believe I have read about people with either ADHD or Aspergers having an inappropriate or odd sense of humor.
For some odd reason, I am extremely organized about my digital files on the computer but I have difficulty organizing a lot of my physical things in my condo. (This is partially because I don't have nice furniture yet, and when I did start to add furniture pieces to my home it gave me more of a physical flow but I am by no means an excellent house keeper). Growing up my father was so messy that my neat freak mom wouldn't even sleep in the bedroom, she slept out on the couch even though she made the most income and eventually became a CEO)... it bothered me that it ruined a lot of their relationship (there is much more to it then him being messy though, he's kind of an asshole) but I realize that I am pretty messy myself, although not as bad.
It does hurt my relationships though, my boyfriend complains about things around the house a lot and I am getting better about it. However, there are other parts of me that keep us together and I think that ADHD and being different had a lot to do with it. I can definitely relate to what the doctor said about the spontaneity, creativity, and exciting side of ADHD being balanced with a partner who keeps the balance by giving stability, which is pretty much what my boyfriend does.
For the most part, I don't believe that the Dr. is lying about having ADHD. ADHD, failure, and stupidity are not synonomous. Also, he could have just grown up in the environmental circumstances that allowed him to learn to overcome his ADHD more than others with it could.
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Hollow-Well is a pompous, grandiose, in-denial ADHD jerk.
Will you people PLEASE quit quoting him as any kind of expert on ADHD?
He does more harm than good in creating accurate information about ADHD.
why would you say that about Dr Haliwell? Have you ever met him? or seen him speak? or read any of his books? I'm curious to kow why you speak so poorly of him.
Yes, yes, and yes. Repeatedly.
He is an embarrassment to the ADHD professional community. He spins fairy tales about ADHD and is so self-promotional, it is unbelievable. Many experts who actually understand ADHD feel the same way, but they cannot speak out about it. They feel it is unprofessional or would look awkward, or something.
He would rather sell snake-oil -- that the only thing people with ADHD need to do is find a spouse or employer who thinks they are the bees' knees -- than address the real challenges with ADHD.
His pretty-story propaganda does everyone affected by ADHD a disservice. Parents desperately look to him for hope that their children will turn out okay. But, they most definitely stand a diminished chance of turning out okay if they follow Hallowell's advice instead of that of experts who offer more solid, realistic guidelines. It's so easy in the short term to discount your child's problems as "gifts" that the rest of the world doesn't appreciate. What about when that child grows up, though, and you can't keep blaming the world when they can't hold a job or think that it's the world's fault that their "gifts" aren't appreciated, even as they spend themselves into debt, get addicted to substances or activities, or crash one too many cars.
As a walking embodiment of the worst aspects of untreated ADHD -- disconnected with reality, unempathic, deluded, not seeing consequences, opportunistic, more interested in making a buck and attaining fame than in actually helping people -- he is a great poster boy. Other than that, he should get himself into treatment with a professional who actually understands ADHD. And until then, he should just keep his fairy tales to himself.