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When I was a child going to school in the 50's & 60's, I struggled with making good grades. I was a child that wanted to follow all the rules, but would find myself in trouble because I lost my place while others were reading. You see I was thinking about something else and was horrified when called on to read and I didn't know where we were. I wondered why my friends and classmates all made good grades, but I couldn't. In trying to find some explanation for this, I finally decided that I must be retarded. Not "real retarded" but mildly. As I grew up with the embarrassment of feeling like I wasn't very smart naturally a poor self-esteem followed. I never read very much because I can be reading a chapter or chapters of a book and a whole other thought process is going on in my mind, so much so that I have no clue of what I just read - therefore, why bother. My younger brother felt like he may have A.D.D. and sought a professional who, after some testing, diagnosed him with A.D.D. (I have strong suspicions that my oldest brother has the same thing). When my grandson was diagnosed with A.D.D., I decided to finally seek a diagnosis. To be able to read a book and actually grasp the story seems too good to be true. Is it possible for me to be able to do that? Well, I just started taking 300 mgs of Wellbutrin, a medication my doctor feels will help me concentrate, so we'll see.
Hi Untitled comment...
Your experience sounds identical to mine....i was kept back in grade 5 in 1982, which by then i already had a huge complex about being unable to achieve. Can you belive it, i felt so bad and ashamed at being unable to stay focused on what was at hand. After failing grade 5 that was the real begining of my shame at believing i was stupid, but in some strange way, deep inside of me, i knew i was'nt stupid...and that really confused me.
I am 39 now...with so may great talents, i can do just about anything, and have so many interests, but i lack the determination, drive, loose interest, give up at the slightest challenge...battle to get focused and maintain focus...and just prefer to do nothing because it all just seems to much of a mental effort and challenge. I am happy to fail...and feel quite comfortable that way..or so i make myself believe...and sleep my life away while my husband is at work and my child is at school. I feel so ashamed every day of my life...but don't do anything about it.
Ive battled with depression for most of my life, and am currently on Wellbutrin and cipralex, and have recently been diagnosed with premature menopause. Oh God i wish i could escape from my mental block and start really living..although life is a lot better emtionally the last two years or so.
Any suggestions...Moo
Hi Moo, the only advice that I can give you is when you are truly ready to find out what has been going on with you all these years, find a professional who can determine if you in fact have A.D.D. and get something to help you focus. This is where I am now. I have been on the medication for less than 3 weeks and my doctor told me last week that I won't see any improvement for at least 3 more weeks. If there is no marked improvement after a few more weeks, then I'm not going to stop searching for other medications until I can read a book and know what I read. I wish you the best in your search. I do feel a sense of accomplishment already because I made the first doctor's appointment.
Hi Moo, the only advice that I can give you is when you are truly ready to find out what has been going on with you all these years, find a professional who can determine if you in fact have A.D.D. and get something to help you focus. This is where I am now. I have been on the medication for less than 3 weeks and my doctor told me last week that I won't see any improvement for at least 3 more weeks. If there is no marked improvement after a few more weeks, then I'm not going to stop searching for other medications until I can read a book and know what I read. I wish you the best in your search. I do feel a sense of accomplishment already because I made the first doctor's appointment.
Hi Moo, the only advice that I can give you is when you are truly ready to find out what has been going on with you all these years, find a professional who can determine if you in fact have A.D.D. and get something to help you focus. This is where I am now. I have been on the medication for less than 3 weeks and my doctor told me last week that I won't see any improvement for at least 3 more weeks. If there is no marked improvement after a few more weeks, then I'm not going to stop searching for other medications until I can read a book and know what I read. I wish you the best in your search. I do feel a sense of accomplishment already because I made the first doctor's appointment.
Looking back I have always been ADD. Now I'm 63. Two years ago I finally went to a Psychiatrist after my Family Physician gave up and told me I needed to see someone smarter than he was. I first became aware of the problem during the economic downturn in Texas in the late 80's. I was depressed, felt like I had a gray-black cloud around my head. My GP tried Prozac and within two weeks I was whistling down the halls. As the years passed the Prozac became no help; nor, did any of the other seritonin inhibitors. Finally after 1 yr. with the shrink, he tried Adderall. I think that saved my life. At last I had a name for the black cloud. The cloud went away, I could concentrate, and was motivated to get things done. Its been 18 mos. and I can say that I'm close to what I call normal. When I researched ADD, my past life all came in to perspective. I fit the mold perfectly. Despite its detractors, I wish ADD treatment would have been available for children of the 50's. Count me as a believer in Adderall. PS, my shrink monitors it closely.
As I got closer to pre-menopause my symptoms started to get worse. Before I could manage and had found my way around it. I also always thought that was just the way I functioned. Another reason was having my son in my mid 30's, who although has always had non stop energy started to show symptoms of ADHD once he got into school. I had 2 daughters in my early 20's however never made the connection with my older daughter and her ADHD. When it did finally click she might have ADHD she was in her late teens. Still I did not see I might have it, until now that my son is older because his personality is just like mine. When I see my son I see myself as a child just a liitle different because he is more hyper but he is also very distracted. It is like looking at me all over again, a mini me in a son, pretty scary.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. So many adults are diagnosed as you were, when they see themselves in their children. I know first hand how peri-menopause and menopause can cause you to forget things, lose track of conversations, struggle to find the right word, etc, and many women are diagnosed with ADHD when they start this phase of their life.
I hope all is going well for you now.
Eileen
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i was takin in by my parents when i was a youth because i could sit still in school basicly i showed all the signs of a.d.d...then when i was 22 my exwife started a c.p.s case and the courts wantedme to see someone and after that i was diagnost with a.d.h.d