A few weeks ago, my friend came to tell me that her son had been expelled "indefinitely" from his high school for possession of a weapon on school grounds. We were both upset and concerned. Her son is in the ninth grade. He hadn't even completed his first year of high school.

The night before he confided to his mother that a boy from another high school was threatening him but that he wanted to handle it in his own way, "no adults".

The boy from the other high school wanted to know who had been with his ex-girlfriend. My friend's son wouldn't tell him, so a "meeting" was arranged. The boys agreed to meet on the edge of the high school's property mid-day to "talk". Meanwhile, the ex-girlfriend informed my friend's son that the boy had a knife and intended to hurt him.

My friend's son, in response, grabbed the only weapon he had, a Leatherman tool with a 2 3/4" knife blade. He'd already arranged to have friends with him, as had the boy from the other high school.

A crowd of students gathered. Thankfully, my friend's son was approached by a member of the high school staff before the boys from the other high school arrived - (they were on their way, just a few blocks away).

My friend's son's backpack was searched. The weapon was found. He was escorted to the office. The Vice Principal asked to see his cell phone and read enough text messages to piece together the events of the previous days.

In our state, the public schools are required by law to expel any student in possession of a knife blade longer than 2 1/2" inches on school property.

The following day, the mother was provided a letter stating her son's options. She chose to request a hearing to have her son readmitted to school. The date was scheduled. She then began contacting adults who knew her son and asked them to write letters in support of her son.

The hearing was on Tuesday. In preparation, I met with the son on Saturday to discuss his current and future goals, what he wanted to do, and to assist him in writing a letter stating his wishes. It was a rough meeting. He was angry, unhappy, and confused. We walked and talked and made little progress. We had a meal together then headed over to my office to type up the document. I honestly did not know what he was going to write.

I wrote three questions on the white board, gave him the marker, and watched as he filled in the answers. I was relieved to see that he was in fact going to take responsibility for his actions and request to be readmitted. He typed up the document, and I took him home.

As I said before, the hearing was on Tuesday. Present were the School District Administrator, the High School's Vice Principal, my friend and her son, the Executive Director of the local chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, my husband and I, and the boy's Lacrosse Coach.

The meeting format was explained to us. We were each, in turn, given the opportunity to speak. At the end of the meeting, we were informed that the School District had up to 10 days to give its decision, but that it would more likely take 4-5 days. Many factors would influence the decision including the event, the student's wishes, the Principal's recommendation, the letters and statements of those in attendance, and the discipline and academic record of the student. Once the decision was made, my friend and her son would be called to sign for and pick up the letter that would include the decision.