The Fight to Beat ADD

By hemigal Thursday, April 03, 2008

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I am a43 year old female, diagnosed with ADD, Inattentive type about 2 years ago and still fighting to get the best of it. My husband has always been great. I often wonder how he puts up with my forgetfulness, disorganization, clumsiness, etc, etc, etc. Will he one day get tired of the struggle? I don't feel like I deserve him.

I have worked several jobs in offices trying, I suppose, to live up to what my father considers an acceptable job. I now work part-time in an animal shelter and love it. I am much happier working with the animals than in anything I have ever done with my life. I feel, though, that there should be more for me. The pay is low and I need to find my "niche" and a way to make money in what I love.

Anyway, it's a daily struggle for me.

Karen

Comments (8) | Add comment

Vicki M, Editor

4/ 3/08 12:55pm

Hi Karen! Welcome to Health Central.

If you have found a job doing something you love, then that is where your heart should be. I know it's tough when people around us make comments about getting a real job. I have been trying to get back into music and my mother is always telling me it's time to grow up. Well I love music and it's going to be a part of me for a long time. I also love my job, and I too am in the administrative field. You just have to do what you feel is best for you!!

Working with animals is a very soothing job as well as fullfilling. There is a member here named Katsnake who has ADHD but does not allow it to rule her life. She works with snakes and uses her love of all animals to help educate the public about snakes. Now I am not suggesting you go out and handle snakes (shudder) but there are other folks who share common interests in animals. Someone else you might want to look up is LadyGlow. There is a particular posting here with Ladyglow and Stardust that is interesting. Something I think you might find familiar.

The community here is amazing and I have read so much. Many funny stories, many that hit far too close to home, but all of them build on the idea of community. Sometimes I wonder if ADHD and ADD aren't more prevalent because we do not have the closeness that we used to have in our own home communities.

Well I hope this finds you well and I hope you will stay in touch and let us know how you are doing!!

Vicki M

hemigal

4/ 8/08 7:19pm

Thanks for the info. I'll look up LadyGlow and Katsnake. Things are a little better. We have an appt Thursday to get our taxes done and I've been in a panic state over that trying to come up with all of the necessary paperwork.

I'm trying real hard not to be too hard on myself. That makes it somewhat easier to deal with the situation. I'm still going through panics here and there about the taxes though.

Anyway, thanks for the support.

Karen

Terry Matlen, ACSW, Health Guide

4/ 3/08 11:29pm

Hi Karen,

Welcome to Health Central! We're happy to have you here.

You mention two main concerns in your post- your husband and your job.

First, my guess is that you had ADHD when you dated your future husband and he noticed how it affected you. : ) Still, it's understandable that your worry might be that he'd get tired of dealing with this. However, there are things about you that he loves and he'll continue to love. Perhaps he doesn't even mind the things you are concerned about- why not ask him? You might be surprised.

As for the job, I agree with the other comment here. By going with what you love doing, you'll be happier in the long run. If the pay is simply not enough for you to live on comfortably, perhaps you could explore other animal related careers. You mentioned you work part-time. If you worked full time and earned more money, would that solve the problem for you?

Again, welcome to our group!

Terry

hemigal

4/ 8/08 7:28pm

I guess I'm pretty lucky to have him :) I try to be more conscious about what's happening to him and not fade out into my own little world too much.

I have been looking for another job to supplement my income. I have an intense fear of going through an interview that's **** near impossible to get myself past. My husband says "everyone fears interviews." I realize that but it doesn't really make it any easier to conquer my fears.

Anyway I'm trying not to be so tough on myself.

Thanks for the support.

Karen

grandma lise

4/ 9/08 2:43am

Hey Hemigal,

I'm here to tell you that you are not the only one who absolutely hates interviews. It doesn't help that I have an anxiety disorder. I could argue that I don't change jobs often because I so dread the job interview and don't even get me started talking about testing!

I get hired despite my performance in the interview. No, really, I'm dead serious. I do not interview well. Just about every job I've ever gotten, I got, based on my resume and references. Employers look for people who stick around, are dependable, are valued by past employers, and have the right skill set for the job.

I got my first job based on extensive volunteer work in the community. If you don't have many job references, list your volunteer work. It also helps to start collecting other people's resumes for ideas, or find a friend who is really talented at publishing to help you revamp your resume. A quality neutral, white or tinted paper - (I'd stay away from textures or color); a clean, crisp font and format; clear, concise writing; and a laser printer are all you need to make an excellent first impression.

I'd be glad to send you a copy of my resume if that would help, just send me a private email.

I feel your pain. Interviews are hard, and even harder for people like you and I.

Grandma Lise

angela mcavoy

4/ 6/08 7:21pm

im sorry 2 hear that i have a 5 yr old son who mite have adhd he has absense seizure epilepsy and his school and doc want 2 check him 4 it i dont no much on it all i do no as i cant keep lettin him away with things that he does

Vicki M, Editor

4/10/08 9:15am

Hi Hemigal,

Your husband is right, no one likes interviews. Let's face it, most of the time we feel like we're out there trying to sell ourselves and doing an interview requires us to talk about ourselves. It's not as easy as it sounds. I can sing the praises of others forever, but to try to tell someone about all of my fabulousness and how they'd be darned lucky to have me, well that's a bit more difficult! (tongue firmly planted in cheek)

All I can say is as bad as the interview process is, and as much as it hurts because we're uncomfortable, you should try to do them if for no other reason, just to face down the fear of the beast. You could get your husband to interview you. Sometimes getting those tough questions from someone who cares about you can help. When I am getting ready for interviews I get friends to fire off questions at me. Some of them are really good at being bad too so they challenge me. Gives me the practice I need.

Good Luck!! Stay in touch and let us know how you are doing!!

Vicki M

Anonymous

12/20/08 8:01am

How did you know you were inattentive add?? I have an 18 year old son who I am having serious thoughts that he may have this. He has always had issues in school, not being over active but not doing well on tests, he can study and study and he just can't get the test, he's tall and overweight, he procrastinates so very badly that it oftentimes gets him in deep trouble with reports, and such. He's not been able to get a job or keep one if he does get one. He can't seem to make friends much, people think he's "different". I am worried about him. He's 18 and will soon be trying to fend for himself. How did you go about finding out and finding help???

Thanks

Valerie in Iowa

The Fight to Beat ADD

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