discipline

How to handle my child with adhd

lafay Community Member September 07, 2008
  • My 8 yr. old daughter has adhd, and took concerta for about 4 months. She was switched to daytrana. I am having a really hard time with disciplining her. I can't tell if she can help "acting out" or if its part of the adhd. I'm new at this and trying to research it all. I am 27, and a few months ago I had a total hysterectomy, due to endometriosis, and they took both ovaries as well as uterus, tubes, and cervix. I am not on ANY hormones right now, and I am experiencing major hot flashes and irritability. I am also a full time student trying to get into nursing school. I feel like sometimes I just "fly off the handle " at some of the things she does, and later I feel terrible, like I'm this horrible mom for yelling at her. She has a hard time focusing, and when i'm talking to her she tends to just turn her head and look around the room. I take this like she's ignoring me. And when i'm telling her that if the behavior continues she's getting grounded or something, she all of a sudden just interrupts me, like she's not hearing anything i'm saying. That makes me crazy. I feel like i'm failing her, as well as my 6 yr old daughter who I feel is not getting enough of my attention because i'm always spending so much time getting on to my 8 yr old. I am researching different discipline tips and parenting ideas. This is all just becoming so over whelming for me and her too i'm sure. I'm trying to deal with surgically- induced menopause, 2 children (one with adhd) and a husband who was away at the police academy for 4 months. I'm hoping this is a place where I can find some sanity from people who are dealing with similar issues or have ANY suggestions!

3 Comments
  • Eileen Bailey
    Health Guide
    Sep. 07, 2008

    Dear Lafay

     

    I am glad that you have found this site and hope you find the information useful. First, let me say I know exactly how you feel. My son with ADHD is now 23 years old but the feelings you describe are so familiar to me. You also need to know: you are not a bad parent!

     

    Parenting a child with ADHD is exhausting, both emotionally and physically....

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    Dear Lafay

     

    I am glad that you have found this site and hope you find the information useful. First, let me say I know exactly how you feel. My son with ADHD is now 23 years old but the feelings you describe are so familiar to me. You also need to know: you are not a bad parent!

     

    Parenting a child with ADHD is exhausting, both emotionally and physically. It can take so much out of you, but there are solutions and answers to your questions. You are taking some important first steps by trying to find out all you can about ADHD and researching parenting strategies.

     

    Children with ADHD respond to positive reinforcement programs. It can be hard for them to relate a punishment to an action, especially if the consequence is not immediate or if it is drawn out 9like grounding which I have never found worked for my son).

     

    There are some articles and information here that have come from both research and my personal experiences:

     

    Creating a Discipline Process at Home

     

    Games to Motivate your Children

     

    Strategies for Parenting Children with ADHD

     

    Parenting Strategies for Children with ADD (Without Hyperactivity)

     

    Coping Strategies for Siblings

     

    Creating strategies that take behaviors into account and work around them, such as behavioral charts can help a lot. Also, being short and to the point when talking with your children can help. Let them know what you expect and how you expect it to happen with the fewest amount of words. Also, make sure when you talk with your child there are a minimum amount of distractions and if needed, gently hold her chin so that you are looking directly in her eyes. This way her attention will be held to what you are saying better.

     

    I would also suggest trying to find a support group in your area. It sounds as if you could use some emotional support right now. www.chadd.org has a list of support groups, possibly there is one near you. Finding other parents to talk with can help a great deal.

     

    In addition, using this site can help you to talk over situations and find solutions to problems, or to vent about situations that are happening at home.

     

    Parenting a child with ADHD can be exhausting, but it can also be fulfilling and wonderful. Children with ADHD are often creative, imaginative and so full of life and spontaneity, they bring us so much joy.

     

    I hope this helps. Please keep in touch and let me know how everything is going.

     

    Eileen Bailey

     

     

     

     

  • Anonymous
    MICHELLE
    Apr. 27, 2009

    HI. I AM A 43 YEAR OLD FEMALE WHO HAS HAD ADHD ALL MY LIFE. I HAVE MY OWN SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS AND AM MARRIED WITH THREE CHILDREN.  MY 15 YEAR OLD SON HAS ADHD AS WELL.

    THE BEST THING MY PARENTS EVER DID FOR ME WAS PUT ME IN GYMNASTICS.  IT ACTUALLY HELPS AS YOU NEED TO (try to) CONCENTRATE, AND YOU WANT TO LEARN THE SKILLS BEING TAUGHT. ...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    HI. I AM A 43 YEAR OLD FEMALE WHO HAS HAD ADHD ALL MY LIFE. I HAVE MY OWN SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS AND AM MARRIED WITH THREE CHILDREN.  MY 15 YEAR OLD SON HAS ADHD AS WELL.

    THE BEST THING MY PARENTS EVER DID FOR ME WAS PUT ME IN GYMNASTICS.  IT ACTUALLY HELPS AS YOU NEED TO (try to) CONCENTRATE, AND YOU WANT TO LEARN THE SKILLS BEING TAUGHT.  IT IS A VERY GOOD DICIPLINED AND FUN SPORT WHICH WILL HELP WITH CONTROLLING YOU BODY AS WELL AS MIND (TO A DEGREE).

    GOOD LUCK TO YOU, AS YOU SOUND BURNT OUT!

    KEEP THEM BUSY WITH SPORT, ART, ANYTHING THAT INTERESTS THEM!

     

  • Anonymous
    LADONNABALL
    Jan. 14, 2009

    Check out my articles at ehow.com search for by members I am listed as Ladonnaball I have 2 articles on how to handle and ADHD child and how to discipline them, I have 2 steps sons, ages 10 and 8, 2 daughter 3 and 2 and a an ADHD son who is 7! IF you need to talk or need any advice let me know my email is ladonna@live.com