I keep worrying about everything that's important to me, these days especially my relationship with my boyfriend. one minute I'm so in love with him, and the next i'm scared and ask myself what if i don't love him? even though i know I love him more than anything, we're living together and everything is great. after thinking this I feel guilty about even asking myself that question and I feel like i don't deserve him. and then I get frustrated, and questions appear; like why can't I have normal thoughts? why cant I just be layed back like everyone else, why can't i just stop thinking?
I have just recently been diagnosed with adhd and I've read somewhere that obsessive thinking is a common symptom, so my guess is that it's that in combination with beeing afraid of losing him or losing my feelings for him that's causing these thoughts and also a bit because that is what happened in my previous relationship and that was a painful experience..
I've also after getting the diagnosis been a bit angry that I'm not normal and I find myself beeing jealous of other people, it seems like they live such easy lives.. I'm going to start taking ritalin after my next doctors appointment so I'm hoping it'll work some how..
