normal in any way?

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Mon, June 02, 2008

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I keep worrying about everything that's important to me, these days especially my relationship with my boyfriend. one minute I'm so in love with him, and the next i'm scared and ask myself what if i don't love him? even though i know I love him more than anything, we're living together and everything is great. after thinking this I feel guilty about even asking myself that question and I feel like i don't deserve him. and then I get frustrated, and questions appear; like why can't I have normal thoughts? why cant I just be layed back like everyone else, why can't i just stop thinking?

I have just recently been diagnosed with adhd and I've read somewhere that obsessive thinking is a common symptom, so my guess is that it's that in combination with beeing afraid of losing him or losing my feelings for him that's causing these thoughts and also a bit because that is what happened in my previous relationship and that was a painful experience..

I've also after getting the diagnosis been a bit angry that I'm not normal and I find myself beeing jealous of other people, it seems like they live such easy lives.. I'm going to start taking ritalin after my next doctors appointment so I'm hoping it'll work some how..

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Eileen Bailey

6/ 3/08 2:04pm

Rollercoaster

Worrying and obsessive thoughts can be a part of ADHD for some people. I think in any relationship we question our commitment or the other person's when we are feeling insecure about ourselves. With your new diagnosis of ADHD, that may be just it, you are feeling insecure. I am sure that you have many unanswered questions about ADHD and how the diagnosis will impact your life. In addition, undiagnosed ADHD often creates problems with self-esteem. All of this together may be making you question your life and your relationship.

Health Central also has a site for anxiety. There may be some information there that can help you develop strategies to deal with the overwhelming worrying. (I also write for that site so I believe the articles are worthwhile).

Anxiety at Health Central

I hope this helps

Eileen Bailey

6/ 5/08 12:12am

hey,

Don't feel scared or worried, this seems totally normal to me (or maybe I'm way abnormal!). I got all bent out of shape when I found out I may have ADD too, but I digure now I'm trying to FIX the problem, which is better than I was before the diagnosis. And everyone in my family, at work, and in my person life have been nothing BUT helpful and kind, and the people on this board are so helpful!

I even went for a second opinion when my first person suggested I have ADD. What scared me the most was reading "Driving to Distraction" and realizing her case studies are real people JUST LIKE ME! AHHHHH! AHHH just AHHH! One trick I have found is to make LISTS LISTS LISTS all of the time, and carry a list around with me. And keep a calendar. I never did these things before. Sounds really simple, but not for me. :). Also, I put my keys in the same place every night now. This helps alot too. :). I'll be thinking about you!

iswearimmoving13

6/16/08 1:20am

I stayed up to count the stars last night, over and over.

I think its easy to criss-cross the things that worry us. If you just got diagnosed, like I did (my sixth year of Undergrad), that is something real that you have to deal with. You've taken steps however, to find out what was wrong. I also felt jealous of other people who seem to 'coast' through life. Only now, as I write this post, I think they just separate the worries easier.

So how about an idea to make this crossing of worries work for you...

Unlike ADHD, there is probably no one who is classically trained and/or certified to diagnose you with "You Love your Boyfriend." So, since in my opinion that would take a lot of fun out relationships altogether (to have love stamped on a concrete block). Instead, count the things you like about him when you see him, (over and over, yes its sounds obsessive, but hear me out). Eventually, you will start to memorize the numbers. I think it would be funny to blurt out, "Hey, thats number 13... you cleaned your plate!" or "you put on a clean shirt!" or, "That's a new one...let's make that one number 26."

The numbers aren't important, just that you have an idea of the (list) of things to make your own diagnosis.

If you have fun with this idea, use it. I haven't 'cause I just thought of it right now. If you're like me, even funny ideas or good ideas don't stick for good. If that happens, I'm sure I or anyone else of us ADD'ers will make one up for you on the spot.

Peace.

PS. I counted the stars one night and got 70 stars every time, almost. #25, was a satellite because it crossed the sky in like 20 seconds, and number 13 was a red-looking star that I swear was moving but maybe wasn't. Now there's some list-making for ya!

normal in any way?

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