my son who has been diagnosed with ADHD constantly says he forgot when he gets into trouble for misbehaving. for example, when i tell him to stop making an annoyin noise he will obide by my request only to start making the noise again 10 seconds later (no joke on the time). is this expected behavior or has he succomed to an habitual behavior?
Kimabear
First, let me apologize for taking so long to get back to you. It was just one of those weeks at my house and everytime I sat down at the computer, something came up. Finally, tonight I had some uninterrupted time.
I am the parent of a hyperactive/impulsive child (he is 23 now). Sometimes they do forget and sometimes it is habitual. I can't say which for your child. However, sometimes what is important is to teach them is how to control it, no matter whether it is impulsive or habitual.
Instead of getting annoyed, which is very easy to do, try instead some "games" to help motivate your son to improve behaviors. I have explained this in more detail at:
Games to Motivate your Children
I have used these techniques with much success with my son with ADHD as well as my children without ADHD.
For more tips and info on raising children with ADHD:
I hope this helps. Please keep us posted on how everything is going.
Eileen
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Hey Kimabear,
I'm always hesitant to respond to parents with hyperactive-impulsive children, because what you and your son are experiencing is outside my personal experience. I'm not a "gross motor", hyperactive-impulsive type, nor is our son. My ADD and anxiety are mild in comparison.
I recently have begun to read books geared to hyperactive-impulsive children and their parents. A wonderful book that I was introduced to here is ADHD & Me: What I Learned from Lighting Fires at the Dinner Table by Blake E. S. Taylor.
This is one of the best books on ADHD I have read in 18 years.
Written by a hyperactive-impulsive teen when he was still in high school, he overviews what it was like growing up with ADHD and the symptoms of tics, and what strategies and techniques he found useful.
Thanks in great part to a incredibly driven and insightful mother and a loving extended family, this young man came to accept and adapt to his ADHD, developed friends and leadership skills in high school, and went on to college. This all was accomplished after a lot of trial and error.
I plan to write a formal review on the book, but loaned it out before I finished it because it is so good!
The question you ask is important. I don't have an answer for you but I think after reading this book you'll have a much better understanding of what your son's internal experiences are. It's not easy to be him, nor is it easy for you to know how to best raise him. By the time he reaches college, you, hopefully, will be an expert on ADHD.
If you're looking for guidance on what your long-term goals are as you raise this child, read Ready or Not, Here Life Comes: America's Top Learning Expert Shows How Today's Society Makes It So Hard To Grow Into Productive Adults - And What We Can Do About It by Mel Levine, M.D.
It's a brutally honest, hard hitting book. There's four chapters that do an excellent job of outlining what skills ADHD children need to acquire by the end of high school and as they begin college. I wish I had read this book 15 years ago. It's helping me now as I talk with my son. He's a freshman in college studying chemical engineering.
There are many books on how to raise an ADHD child. I strongly advocate the use of medication but tend to like the books that are anti-medication best when it comes to parenting strategies. Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach: Shifting the Intense Child To New Pattens of Success And Strengthening All Children on the Inside by Howard Glasser, MA is an excellent first book on behavioral strategies. Our local ADHD Clinic uses it in their parenting classes for parents of ADHD children.
There isn't much activity on the forum on the weekend. Keep checking back. We have some experienced mothers here who will soon respond to you too. Hopefully, more specifically to your question.
Grandma Lise