Diagnosis- dedicated to "Merely Me"

I always had problems in school with regards to chronic fatigue, extreme lack of concentration and all this led to many failures but in the end I somehow finished school.

College was relatively easy as I could decide my schedule but I had problems too with early classes.

Work was a problem most of the time as my ADD was making a mess out of me whithout me having any idea why besides of not being smart enough. I did spend a few years in

corporate America but things were never right and I thought that was how the world was for me.  In my late 30s after having a kid and feeling the pressure more than ever to be

an achiever my system collapsed, still me having no idea why. I got fired from two good jobs in a row and got ridiculed in interviews for the first time. I ended up jobless,

gradually heading towards being pennyless, and started drinking to tame the horrible situation. My wife was after me saying I was not up to the task of suppoting a family

etc....  Things were worse than ever and I was very close to rock bottom.

Helpless and waisted, all kinds of bad ideas crossed my brain. Then once I had a few drinks I said to myself OK you are in shit and things are going downhill fast, but what if somebody else in this planet had my problems too. Could I be the only one on this planet going through this hell?

So I put down a few of my problems like loosing jobs with no apparent reason, lask of concentration, unexplained failures etc.... I was desparate and thought the internet could

maybe tell me something.   After hours of searching for a "counterpart" across the globe I landed on an ADHD site and saw a test that I took and O my, O my I was struck by a

lightning that left me immobile for a few minutes and dumbfounded for weeks. I diagnosed myself with ADD and I could not talk I was in so much shock and disbelief. I started to

look for solutions  and read about meds. I did not care waiting weeks until a Dr would see me and I got some Ritalin "unofficially" and medicated myself. I was beyond desperate,

and I almost cried (I never do).

Now I am the process of taking care of myself with a Dr and seminars and I think things will be better with new meds (Rit did not really work for me, bad side effects).

Conclusion: The worse it gets can many times drive you closer to the solution. It can be a painful, horrible drive but it seems that no pain no gain here no only in the gym.

I am still amazed by the whole experience and for sure it will be the most memorable and most important experience in my life by very far. I started getting the life that I did not know had gradually back.

I am amazed at the variety of independent, misunderstood experiences humans can have.

Keep the faith, we are the first generation ever to do through this as adults and I hope the best is yet to come for solutions to this grave, very sad problem.