teenagers

Teen boyr with ADHD and depression

noahbrady Community Member November 20, 2008
  • I am the mother of a teenage boy who lives with ADHD and now, suffers from depression.  He is in his first serious (read, sexual) relationship, with a young lady who is not stable and comes from an abusive and neglective background who has a learning disability which adds an immaturtiy level.  We have 5 teenagers in the house, 4 of the boys, me and my husband, we are a blended family with an adopted boy with fetal alcohol syndrom, in addition to my son with the adhd - yes, I figured I could handle it.  Now, that gives you the basics, the adhd doesn't allow my son to deal with the emotional turmoil that an unstable, manipulative girl can dish out.  The rollercoaster ride lends itself to outbursts of first aggression and foul temper, then tears, all misdirected and unreasonable.  The depression causes him to lash out at the two people is closest to, myself and his biological brother.

     

    My son has tried to break up with the girl, which is a good sign.  We are told by the psychologist it could take a few tries.  Right now, he's in love again.

     

    My son will take his meds and acknowledges that they are important, but refuses any more therapy.  The rest of the family does go to therapy so we can deal with him and with the emotions that his temper outbursts put upon us. 

     

    He is vicious, mean, vulgar and verbally abusive, but not a physical threat to himself or anyone else apparently. 

     

    I feel like my son is dead and in his place is this very mean, not nice mentally ill person that I have to try to reshape to find a semblence of my child.  My oldest son, his brother, is now exhibiting his own signs of depression, probably stemming from watching his brother verbally vulgarly abuse his mother and his own girlfriend and want to thrash him but holding back.  Some days it is only by my restraining him.

     

    It is difficult in a house full of testosterone to keep everyone from antagonizing the situation.  I don't like it myself and there are days I think I may have to have him committed to a crisis center if he doesn't settle down soon, but, then he does and I'm left exhausted, hiding my tears in another room.

     

    This has been going on for approx. 5-6 months and I'm hoping the next med works.  I'm not sure what that looks like or what therapy looks like after his moods are stable, but I can't stop trying.

     

     

2 Comments
  • Anonymous
    brimom
    Aug. 22, 2009

    I too am living with a emotionally unstable teenage boy. He is diagnosed with depression and takes prozac. Several months ago we discovered that he was cutting himself. We got him to a psychiatrist right away and he started meds. However, he was so belligerent to the social worker that he was supposed to see weekly that I stopped it and switched to his high...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I too am living with a emotionally unstable teenage boy. He is diagnosed with depression and takes prozac. Several months ago we discovered that he was cutting himself. We got him to a psychiatrist right away and he started meds. However, he was so belligerent to the social worker that he was supposed to see weekly that I stopped it and switched to his high priced psychiatrist. We have seen some improvement. Now that school will be starting up again in a few weeks, he is started to get nasty and moody again. He is going into the 12th grade.He says that he can't study for the SAT's. He took the SAT's in May and did poorly because he refused to study. He says that he is unmotivated and overwhelmed. This summer even though he is 17, he refused to get a job. He said that he couldn't handle it.

     

    I too am at my wits end.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Jun. 08, 2009

    I know exactly how you are feeling, I too have an 'unstable' teenager with adhd who is suffering tremendously with his irrational and unreasonable emotions and reactions.  He to is at the end of a relationship with a girl who seems to take great pleasure out of causing him as much distress as possible.  We are at our wits end as to how to best support...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I know exactly how you are feeling, I too have an 'unstable' teenager with adhd who is suffering tremendously with his irrational and unreasonable emotions and reactions.  He to is at the end of a relationship with a girl who seems to take great pleasure out of causing him as much distress as possible.  We are at our wits end as to how to best support him and have even begged our Doctor to ask for him to be re evaluated incase he has something else going on instead or aswell as adhd.  You are lucky to be getting support from your clinic to help you cope with the after effects of his moods, we are left to get on with it here and I am beginning to feel overwhelmed.  I feel the health service has let us down terribly in the care of teens with adhd - it is such a perilous time for them with so many changes going on in their bodies and can make or break them.  Our mental health services here just dont consider adhd important enough and the kids are not getting the support they need and deserve and are struggling to cope with every day life.  I really hope your sons relationship issues are delt with quickly and as painlessly as possible.  Keep plugging away there - I keep telling myself it will all be worth it in the end, I have to believe it.

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