A reluctant diagnosis

I'm researching this yet again because I am still troubled by this disorder.  I am just miffed that about two years ago I had thorough testing done for ADD and was merely reluctant to be "possibly" suffering from this monster thing!  I was reluctantly offered to try a drug to treat it.  There was no explanation why the same drug to treat ADHD was offered for ADD but it was.  None of it made sense and I was too scared to try a strong drug that I thought was suppose to be for a strong disorder...not something as mild as ADD (as I use to think).  Now that I understand the difference between the two...that there is no real difference except in the motor senses, I'm thinking I could've been helped a long time ago.  

  I've read just about as much as a doctor by now, about the disorder and I know I have ADD.  I am miffed that the specialist could not give me a definite diagnosis.  I remember leaving his office feeling like a hyperchondriac who was trying to fake a test so that I could go home knowing I had some psychiatric disease! Now I'm thinking that I just superceeded the  determining factor that they think I should have underscored, in order to receive their idea of what ADD looks like!  Does that make sense?  I mean a lot of ADD and ADHD people have amazing abilities.  I'm not highly intelligent by any means but I can't stand defeat like most ADHD people are and I tried really hard and did very well in certain areas.  Then when it came to the question and answer part of the exam, well...The doctor admits that this part of the test would cause him to think that maybe I had it.  

Don't get me wrong,  I'm not looking for a label, believe you me I've had enough for you, me and our neighbors too, but it makes me so mad that they just don't know what they're looking for!  Don't they realize that part of the disease entails one who tries to put on a facade (I don't know how to spell that), in order to mask their true identity to protect themselves from the humiliating truth and hide their inadequacies?!

Cinderella My computer will not be disconnected afterall so hope to hear anything anyone has to say at this point. oH, and regarding my "keyword" entry...for those who aren't familiar with ADD...often people with ADD have dyslexia, hence the reason for spelling "SAM" backwards!  I often type my letters backwards and am constantly correcting.