During the last two year of high school was when I first started to truly notice my depression signs but I continued to ignore them. It wasn't until the fall of my senior year when I had to get my ADHD reevaluated and documented in order for me to qualify for the disability office at the university that I now attend. The psychiatrist who I had seen and counseled me from the age of 8 to 14, noted on his analysis that there were signs of depression. That was the first true wake up call that I might be suffering from it and I was shocked on how right he was.

Senior year continued for me and my depression was with me every step of the way. I continued to truly address the problem even though I eventually need to. I was too afraid to go to my parents and tell them that I needed to see the psychiatrist. I also wanted to keep my facade up to hide them from my pain. Winter came which meant my finale wrestling season. I ended up tearing my MCL and my depression was at all time high. Once again I didn't ask to see the psychiatrist, instead I decided to self-medicate with alcohol. I truly did not care about my body and drank while on crutches having hopes of falling and hurting my knee even worse. This would not be the last time that I sought alcohol as self-medication. Senior year came to a close and went back to it's normal state.