I saw my counselor yesterday and we discussed the fact that I had been feeling suicidal this past week. She told me that I had been doing really good about calling the suicide hotline but that I was getting to the point where I was needing help beyond their resources. She told me that there were a fe things they could do before they would have to close my file nd send me to someone else. When I told her that I felt that things started getting worse once I was started on the stimulant for my ADHD she said "OK, let's try this. If this doesn't work, you are beyond help." She and I put together a schedule so I could try to piecing my life back together. I left feeling even more helpless and hopeless than I did when I went in. When I got home I cried and cried. Istarted working on the schedule and it worked a little bit but I still felt like crap because of what my counelor said to me. Maybe she's right. Maybe, I am beyond help.
