Single Mom Dealing with ADHD Daughter

By Jessica Friday, November 21, 2008

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My daughter was diagnosed near the end of kindergarten with ADHD. I actually had to fight the school system to have her tested. Small town schools have small classrooms and supposedly your children are getting extra personal care. You are also dealing with closed minds and have a hard time getting any respect as a single woman. They believed I simply wasn't following through with punishments or implimenting rules. The principal made my child's life a living hell in kindergarten. She was sent to the principals office and humiliated regularly. While she was there, she was basically ignored until she'd served her time, which was sometimes days. They refused to believe her behavior problems were anything more than bad parenting and made their feelings very clear to me. My daughter was so much worse after that year in kindergarten. Her self-esteem was just ripped apart. Mine took a beating as well, but it was a horrible impression for a little girl to start out with in her first year of school. Once happy-go-lucky, she became withdrawn and angry. I'm so angry at that principal and others who did harm to my child! I wanted his job taken from him and I felt so helpless until I switched her to another school. Do whatever you have to do. If you find your child in a situation like this, remove them, the sooner, the better! She's progressed since then, but the damage they did made any obstacles she had to overcome more difficult by making her second guess herself.

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Anonymous

11/26/08 5:16am

I feel your pain! I experienced the same type of things with my daughter, only mine had already been diagnosed (at age 4), and we were trying to find the right meds for her! She was suspended from from school in Kindergarden and almost again in first grade! I received calls almost daily and had to report to the principals office myself numerous times those 2 years! My daughter had grown to hate school. At the end of her first grade year, the principal was retiring and a new one took over starting her 2nd grade year. Between getting her meds "just right" and having a new prinipal in place, I only received 2 calls during her 2nd grade year! We started her 3rd grade year at that same school, but moved 2 months into the school year. I did receive 1 call this year, but since moving to the new school, I have heard nothing!! I have gotten a few calls from the school, and when the number comes up on my caller ID, I think "OH MAN WHAT DID SHE DO NOW?" But not one call was about her! It was a pre-recorded message sent out to ALL parents of that particu;ar school!! My daughter has started enjoying school again, but after the experience with the original principal, I don't think either of us will feel ever totally comfortable when the school district name shows up on the caller ID!

Angela

11/26/08 9:09am

I also understand. I have a son in second grade and they have really put them thru hell. We put him on meds in 1st grade but he stopped growing and so the doctor took him off. The school nurse was one of my problems she thought that she know everything till I had to get in her face. He had to repeat 1st grade and finally he is in 2nd grade. He has had a lot of other medical issues he recently was diagnosed with have absence seizures which also went along with him not getting all his school infomation. Again the nurse said that had nothing to do with his behavior but again i proved her wrong. I have had to fight for my kid and I wont stop. It got so bad for him I called the main school admin and turned them in. At last they have stopped picking on him or nit picking him and finally are focused on his education.

avic

11/26/08 9:59am

i understand your pain. i have a son who has adhd. he was diagnosed in the 3rd grade. yes some teachers can have a closed mine when it comes to subject like adhd. i had to fight and fight to get him where he is today. he is in the 8th grade and doing pretty. but he still has a long way to go. i also helps if you know someone who knows the system and can help. i wish you all the luck.

keya

11/27/08 5:06pm

I have a nephew whom I have custody over and we have been through so much with his ADHD and school till I just had to remove him from that surrounding! He is in 4th grade and has been diagnosed since the middle of 2nd grade. I had heard about the disease but really had to get on my game with learning about it. He had gotten so frustrated with school and being singled out that he let his grades drop and refused to pay attention in class. I know then there was a serious problem. I was up at theat school whenever I could judt to see what his day was like. When the teacher got frustrated with him not being able to sit still she would put him in the corner and leave him there. I was like "how is a child suppose to learn or understand like that". Finally I called a meeting with the principle and teacher. At this point they had already singled him as a troubled kid, because of the disruptions he had already caused. So I took hima nd put him in a school where they have programs with dealing with situations like this. He has not been in trouble and grades has come up tramendously. Last year he was on AB Honor Roll. Sometimes you have to take them out the environment that made them uncomfortable in order for them to maintain physically and emotionally.

miggiless

11/28/08 10:55am

I very much know how you all feel, not only do I have an eight year that had a teacher and a princeable who turned her lifr upside down not to mention the counselor , she got to the point where she didn't want to go to school at all if it wasn't for her personal counselor she might not have gone to school at all. But I have seen all thease signs before i have anolder baughter that has ADHD and her life was hell the school was small and the princable was no help . I did two mistakes at the time i was dealing with her fathers death and then I took her to a counseler they gave her Ridalin and it made her mean she was nine at the time she wanted to hurt everyone , she was only two when her dad died. So she went to live with her grand parents because she did alot better down there , at the time or at the time I thought she was better down there but as time went by now i see i was wrong . Sh e is ninteen and she has graduateded high school and has a boyfriend that is very good to her. Some of what she dose I don't like . I see her every day. There are pros and cons to this ADHD the thing of it is and please DON'T take me wong do not use your child's ADHDas a exscuse for there behaviour that what my ninteen yearolds grandparents did and she was aloud to be mean to me and and her older sister and at the time she was nine i was preganet she want to kick me so i would loose her younger sister. So it's a hard thing to deal with but stand your ground and do whats best for your child. you can alway go through your doctor to get your child dianost by your doctor.

Jessica

11/28/08 8:43pm

This is really in response to everyone who has commented. It pains me to see that so many children with these types of problems and other behavioral issues have to go through senarios like the ones you all and I have described. My daughter is doing so much better now, but the sooner a child can get moving in a positive direction with people who understand their special needs, the better. I wish you all the best. Thank you for sharing.

Single Mom Dealing with ADHD Daughter

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