Im A mom of a 4 yr , we adopted he through the fostercare system and she was drug affected, she has just been diagnosed with ADHD and is on her 4th type of medication, we are very frustrated with the out comes of the meds. Has any one else have any problems with finding the right kind of meds for the ADHD? They tell me that since she was drug affected in utero with high levels of meth that the chemical is dificult to find and take care of..Any one else hear about this? Or is the chemical the same? There are times that she is sooo agressive that i just want to cry, she talks all the time and sometimes just walks in circles. Her therapist said that she is impulsive and compulsive and she is. It is realy hard to be the mom i want to be with her and i know my husband feels the same way. If anyone has any suggestions I more than welcome them all!
Help! Dealing with a child with ADHD
Well, it is a very difficult challenge to deal with ADHD. I have two ( also adopted) children with very severe forms.
Phew... we all deal with these medication issues. They are recommended by the docs. The needs are bigger and systemic. . ( think about how to categorize your child's actual ADHD syyptoms). There are different types and severity levels of ADHD. One size diagnoses just don't fit all. Medication is not the only path or tool.
It has been 15 years now of counseling, behavior modification and the same trials and errors about meds.
This is what worked best for me-- maybe some ideas will click with you too.
1) Be in charge of your child! YOU KNOW THE NEEDS_ THE DOCTORS RESPOND TO
WHAT YOU TELL THEM!
Just make a plan-- YOUR PLAN
2) Watch, plan and be there! Example: you know the behaviors, and when stress levels happen; prepare for them. ( like all of us seem to have the after school "explosion"-- schedule a quiet time, talk WITH your child about their day, worries, good things and show that you care. This is very calming. The routine helps prepare for an outlet of the tense day events.- prepare a fresh snack and watch those additives..horror!
3)Don't expect one medication to do the trick. My success was actually removing all the stimulant ADHD meds-- they made her a terror. Then the doc put together a "cocktail". Maybe you need a combination of meds: we use Straterra, Clonodine,Zoloft. A combination of ADHD focus, anti anxiety, an aid for after school outbursts and better sleep.
4) Build personal pride. The best solution for us was (after the fundamentals); going hell bent after the right hobby, club or a couple of good friends. There is a real problem with ADHD kids feeling like they are "BAD". Seek peers who might even have similar issues, they can talk, compare notes and understand that they are not "BAD", they have an illness.
5) Get a respite. This is a tough job. I dedicated all of my efforts to my children's success. I needed to take better care of me to be a better caretaker. Get away, get suppport and feel some relief.
Good luck. This is a journey, not one stop on the train. Learn as you go and remember to accentuate the positive.
Thank you for your advice!
We do have a plan and i always know when the melt downs are coming for sure! Same goes for my 7 yr old we had adopted! We try and talk things out and see what is bothering them and how the day went at school. But with my 4 yr old and her impulsive behaviors its been a challenge because my husband thinks she can make a choice to do it or not and she always choies the wrong choice and she chooses the wrong choice because she like to get into trouble. I don't know about you but i dont think any one likes to get into trouble. She cant help but do what she feel becasue of her impulsivness. I dont think he fuly understands what comes with impulsiveness. Am I wrong?
Hi - I agree with you in many ways. I have a 11 year old son - we believe his father had ADHD as a child and my Father proboly had some form of it. We have some anxiety in the family but they are adults so I did not put 2 and 2 together right away. My son was diagnosis at the end of 2nd grade we started Strattera and helped in the beginning. But we were seeing a Nureologist and he would only go to 25 mg plus he believed there was more then just ADHD. We found out he also had a Behavioral Disorder. His Anxiety was crazy high. My child was like a little adult and sad. We switched to a Psychitrist and Psychologist tag team and helped so much. They helped us learn to communicate better and helped my son deal with a lot of stuff. He was bullied alot for being different. He would have anxiety attacks and want to get away but couldn't so he would start acting like a dinosaur and talk to himself. The aggression and mood swings were crazy - I felt like a punching bag ( not physical but emotional). He then was given a higher dose of Strattera along with Risperdal. The aggression and mood swings started getting fewer and farther away. When we had episodes they were not as bad. We started a note system - when he has a problem at school he would write a note to the teacher and principal telling how he was bullied or whatever. It really started working great. Then our insurence changed and we were referred to another doctor from the one we had. She made Huge strides. She started Zoloft for the anxiety !! I tell you my son is 11 years old now been an honor role student for 2 1/2 years, and is a child now. no more little serious adult. HE laughs, plays jokes around and is happy. So the Strattera, Risperdal, and Zoloft combo is really working great !!
We adjust his eating habits - low sugar, fresh fruit and veg, try to stay away from candy and junk food. But most of all my son is happy, healthy and interacts wonderfully with the family now. We are closer then ever now - just in time too. Teenage years are not far away and Preteen stuff is already here so glad we have a good solid and open relationship it hopefully will make it a bit easier for both of us.
My little Marissa ( now 16!) was and is the same way-- high spirited and a "tough cookie".
I have really had to sever relationships because of this stuff! My advise after all of these years is that men don't get it as easy...they can't see necessarily impulse vs. spiteful behavior. Both have to be managed, but differently.
I had to give up my need for her to do things "my way". I also had to let her hang off the line and get aware that her behavior was going to have consequences___a cancelled birthday party was tougher for me than her I think!
I had to get down on the floor and see things from her point of view! REALLY! Get your husband to relax, observe her----but relate to her on her level! She is probably very astute and wants to have eye contact, laughs and hugs instead of orders and commands that have to be met immediately!
Put him on a behavior modification plan!!!
Good luck,
Jenna
I have ADHD and have 2 girls with ADHD and one with ADD. The only child on meds is my 8 year old. She has been on stimulants non stimulants and nothing has worked for very long. We just tried a new medication and so far I am inpressed. It is called Vyvanse and she is on a second medication for "ticks" (Sort of like Terretz ticks) and they have gone away. She has come home with positive marks for almost two weeks strait. She usually only gets 1 or 2 a week! The second med is Guanfacine. She has only been on them for a few weeks but wow what a difference! She was on Strattera. That worked marginally for awhile but then the results were extreemly minimal. You could really see a difference when she was off it for a few days but it just did not fully do the job. Good luck! Every child is different and what works for one doesn't always work for another. I am blessed because she is a sweet child, no anger issues so I do not know if the meds help with any of that. Just don't give up. We only have them for such a short time although with ADHD a short time can seem to last forever!
My son started showing signs in 1st grade but not enough that we could do anything. By the end of second grade we knew he needed help. So over the summer we saw a Neurogist and started him on Strattera. Non steroid med were recommended because he was seizure proned as a baby. We noticed mood swings all the time. It was like a rollercoaster. Being a Mom they trust you the most so you tend to get the worst of everything. You see the anger, aggression, the tears etc. It was real hard. We left the Neurologist and went to a Psychiatrist were she recommended higher doses of the Strattera. The neurologist would just not go any higher and recommended we see a Psychiatrist because he believed there was more then just ADHD. After written test taken by us ( his parents) and his teacher - in fact there was more. He also had a Behavioral Disorder. His was Social Behavorial Disorder - His anxiety level was unbelieveable - the signs like nail biting, nervousnes, being uneasy, he was like a little adult - never acting like a child so worried all the time. He would have these anxiety attacks and break down - would not talk to us just grunt. Would not open up. He was angry, agressive, aggitated, unhappy, and so sad. IT broke my heart!! He is such an intelligent child - above average but not consider gifted. So he started meeting with a Psychologist and the Psychiatrist working out problems and talking about his fits he would have. They have him on Strattera already then added Risperdal for his aggression. Oh what a difference !! The mood swings started to lesson and the aggression started to lesson. Then our insurence changed and we had to change doctors - she referred us to someone in her other practice who really made a HUGE break through. She started treating him for his Anxiety also. She told me many children who have ADHD have some kind of Behavioral Disorder also. Anxiety tends to be higger also. We don't learn to deal with things in life till we are 18 years old it is called being an adult. So she put him on Zoloft.- FDA approved great for kids. My son is 11 years old now and is finally a child. He is happy, healthy, playful, funny, his mood changes have come down a lot and not so crazy anymore. We see the signs if a mood change occurs and try to fix the situation before it happens. We talk all the time now and he is open - many times he will write a note if he doesn't want to talk that way we at least know. I know she is only 4 years old but believe me check for behavioral disorder and she if something can be done or helped. I felt as if I lived in heck!! for years. Now he is 11 yrs old in 5th grade - Honor Student for 2 1/2 years, learn to ride a bike at 10 yrs and is not so afraid or frusterated anymore. A Good Psychologist will allow you to sit in every once in awhile and help both of you learn to be more open and communicate better. Medication can be trying at times but sometime dosages are figure out especially when a child is growing. Don't give up it will get better. It is worth it.
My daughter has been on the go since she could walk and do crazy things such as head banging before that. She has been a challenge for a very long time. She is seeing a therapist im just not sure how good of one, She was diagnosed with behavior disorder and impulsiveness and compulsiveness, she would do the craziest things and by the time she was 2 she had 2 or 3 black eyes and 4 staples in the back of her head and a few fat lips, and at the age of 3 she broke her clavicale....Man alive I tell you people would look at us funny becasue she would have a big goose egg on her forehead! I would tell her dr about the dangerous things she would do such as climbing to the top of the swing set at the age of 1, and swinging off the monkey bars! She had to be colsely watched and man was she quick! I have plenty of gray hairs to prove it, Anyway her drs would tell me she to young to be diagnosed with anything, So we struggeld and by the time she was 4 I could not take the pain of the aggression and anger that she had, i was on the verge of tears all the time. I love my children like i gave birth to them and would not do anything to change that. As for the therapist she asked me the last time we were there if i regretted adopting her! The thought never even crossed my mine! To me she is my child and i will deal with what comes! This therapist told me there is not much she could do with her
. The last time we were there she painted the girls finger nails and toe nails and gave them a rub down. Thats no diffrent than what i do at home! So among the challenges we have, I feel that we are not getting the help we need. We also don't have many family members that will take the girls so we can have a night away or time away, My husbands parents use to take the oldest one but his dad is very ill. My family is just not involved. The therapist tried to get us into this program for respite but DHS said that there is a yrs waiting list. As for IFAPA i would not be confortable leaving them with just anyone. Im just praying that we find the right meds for our 4 yr old so she can have a normal child hood. We have had the school fill out reports and they say they have no problems with her....hmmm don't get that. Thank you for your story and your support.
Your child could possibly have FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome) that can be detected by testing by a qualified person (in order to get any kind of help later on). We had our grandson checked for that, then we took him to a nurse-practicitioner who specializes in pediatric behaviors. In addition to ADHD, FAS, he also has an Oppositional-Defiant Disorder and a possible Central Auditory Processing disorder. She was the one who prescribed his ADHD meds, PLUS a sleep aid. She said that ADHD kids are usually chronically sleep-deprived. He is a much easier child to deal with; he said he feels better since starting this regimen. The sooner you start on the behavior program, the less time the negative habits have to become "hard wired,"
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I have tried several medications , Strattera made her fall asleep, Focalin makes her grind her teeth and buh her eyes and clutch her throat while saying "Mama can you hear my heart ? " as I see her neck pulsating ....
I am also right now trying 'Bright Spark' from www.nativeremedies.com ..it seems to be working much better than any of the meds, AND it's natrual. There are also other products to use to accompany the 'Bright Spark' 'Focus' I believe is one of them. I will be adding it to the Bright Spark in a week, having given the Bright SPark enough time to see what it can do.
The kids really cant' help ALL of their behavior, but wiht your love and endurance , they can get through a lot of them.
Good luck, stay strong
Strarrera had made her calm in the mornings but still aggressive and the evenings were a nightmare! Lastnight was also a nightmare, she is now just on the focalin, it will be her 3rd day and she is easly frustrated so far but the nurse told me to give it a week and see she how she does. After last night im not sure I will be able to deal with that she was soooo aggressive, mean and she yelled everything she said, nothing we did made her happy and it was a challenge to get her to stay in her room for bed. If we don't find a med soon maybe we will try what you suggest. As her mom even know i did not do the drugs i feel so guilty about giving her these meds and worse when they don't work. It sure seems like a endless hopeless road. Thank you for your response.