Expert Terry Matlen's ADHD Diagnosis

EMS came, we rushed to the hospital and long story short, my daughter was suffering from encephalitis; a reaction to the MMR vaccine she'd had 8 days earlier. She was horribly ill and hospitalized for nearly three weeks, which included four days in a drug-induced coma to stop the seizures. When she was awakened, she was no longer the child I had known. She had lost all functioning- everything- her memory, her ability to walk and talk. It was all gone. We were told her future was unclear. The doctors couldn't predict whether she'd ever walk or talk again. Thankfully, she did both, after much therapy and very long days of hoping, crying and sweating it out.

My little girl, Mackenzie, began to regain her strength. But it was clear that she would have to re-learn everything, and we could only hope she'd catch up. Physically, she did. And more. Not only did she regain her gross motor skills, she also became severely hyperactive and impulsive.

Unlike most people with ADHD, Mackenzie wasn't born with it (from what I can tell); she "acquired" it from the encephalitis. The following months were a nightmare- trying to keep up with a toddler who went from being a listless rag doll to an out of control warrior. She not only learned to walk again, she became a reckless runner, but with poor coordination- a disastrous combination. In fact, her hyperactivity was so severe, she was unable to sit for more than a few seconds. She was in constant motion; she couldn't even attend long enough to play with her toys. Worse, she couldn't nap or sleep- I had to lay on her in her crib in order to stop her limbs from flailing so she could sleep for 20 minutes at a time.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because in trying to learn about Mackenzie's severe ADHD, I discovered my own. You see, in reading, studying and researching everything I could about how to help my baby, I serendipitously fell upon a book about adult ADHD, titled "Attention Deficit Disorder in Adults", by Dr. Lynn Weiss. I nearly dropped the book when I read descriptions of various family members. Then, it happened- the flash of realization that much of what Dr. Weiss was describing also fit me to a "t". I was floored! My inattention, disorganization, chronic clutter, not finishing projects, etc. etc. were detailed in this book!

I hungrily looked for more information and found Driven by Distraction, by Drs. Hallowell and Ratey. Again, I was amazed that these two men could explain so clearly the difficulties I'd experienced throughout my life. Then came Sari Solden's "Women with Attention Deficit Disorder", which I cried through. Page after page described my inner life in detail. Finally, someone who not only understood ADHD in women, but who could write about it in a way that tugged at my heart, opened it and filled it with hope.

For some, this light bulb moment feels like a knife in the heart. Depression often sets in and there's tremendous sadness about the many years lost to this "disorder." But for me, it was a relief that words couldn't express. It was the answer to WHY I found seemingly simple things impossible for me to handle, like keeping the house clean, cooking a meal, finishing a book, etc. How was I able to earn two college degrees yet unable to keep a closet organized? Why would I enter a supermarket and leave with items other than the ones I had intended to buy? And worse, why was I in a constant state of anxiety in such settings? Malls and grocery stores always left me in a state of panic. It wasn't until years later that I learned that being bombarded with stimuli and shutting down were part of how my ADHD affected me.