I have a 3 year old boy that has just been diagnosed with ADHD. His doctor and I have put off putting him on medication until now. He is on D-Amphetamine salt combo 5 mg tablets. Before we put him on this medication, he would hit me all the time; when things didn't go his way or even when he Just Got mad. I walked around with bruises because he hit he so hard. Now he hits me less, his outburst or less frequent, and for 6 hours he is the child I remember. His symptoms started all at once. In about a two month span, he went from a fun-loving, sweet, helpful, and caring child to hitting me, screaming for no reason, pushing his brothers (2 and 1) down, and even hittting my 13 year old daughter.
My husband doesn't think that there is anything wrong with my son. He says that I just want to dope him up so that I don't have to deal with him. My children are my life. I can't stand the fact that my son has this problem. I don't even give them medicine if it makes them sleepy. His family says that if there is anything wrong with my boys, it must have come from my side of the family. Why should it matter whose side of the family it came from. Shouldn't the focus be on the child and helping him live as normal a life as he can. My son is very bright and very smart. My husband and his family say that if he has ADHD than he is mentally retarded.
How can I educate myself and well as my husband on how to deal with this situation to the best interest of the child. I really need help because my two year old is worse than my three year old. And I thought ADHD usually didn't happen in more than one child. My 13 and 1 year old seem to be fine. They don't show any signs. Please someone help me my email address is happy2beme1973@yahoo.com. I have so many questions and fears but can't find any answers.
Hi Rebecca,
I hear your dispair and it's sad that while you need support from your husband and his family, what you are getting instead is just the opposite. Please don't let them make you feel that what you're doing is wrong. In fact, what you are doing is giving your child the help he needs. It's never easy to choose medications for a child, regardless of his age, but what your husband doesn't understand is that by NOT giving him the appropriate treatment will, as research shows, make him very vulnerable to later difficulties. And major ones, at that.
In fact, if you look at the prison population, the majority (I believe it's over 70%) have undiagnosed, untreated ADHD. Untreated ADHD also can lead to substance abuse, depression, conduct disorder, criminal behaviors and more. I am not trying to use a scare tactic here; it's what the research is showing.
There is absolutely no correlation between ADHD and mental retardation (or cognitive impairment; a term I prefer). There are many famous and successful people with ADHD; see our article about this topic HERE .
Getting a spouse or other family members to understand ADHD can be very very difficult. Sometimes it's best to have the child's doctor have a conversation with them to show that it is a real condition, highly genetic (yes, more than one in a family can and often does, have it) and that treatment is absolutely essential for living a normal, happy life.
I'm glad that the medication is working for your son. And congrats to you for understanding his needs.
You might want to ask your husband whether he would balk at medications for him if he had asthma, diabetes, or cancer. The brain is an organ and needs to be taken care of like any other organ.
Hope this helps-
Terry
I've always thought that people who refer, to drugs as medication, came from their own
biased mind set. As if drugs were good when prescibed by a doctor and bad when sold by a pusher. My sons doctor told me that adhd kids that were "medicated" were less inclined to use illicit drugs latter in life, I thought to my self, "hec, Doctor, one hundred percent of the medicated children are on drugs." My adopoted daughter was born with Meth and Valium in her system. I've seen the horrible devastation meth can cause, It's really hard for me to accept that a simalar DRUG is now the perect medicine for my boy. Something doesn't quite square. I'll have to keep an open mind, for Im sure that in the near future I'll be given the choice to either home school or put my kid in a chemical straight jacket.
Have a nice day. Matthew P.
"one hundred percent of the medicated children are on drugs.", DUH, the point the doctor was making was aimed at those with ADD/ADHD who are not medicated, maybe because they dont know they have it or cant afford it so they turn street meds. I used to do alot of illegal drugs.The life and medicine i have now from drugs prescribed to me, are nothing like those from a pusher. And thats no joke.
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Hi Nikki,
My heart aches for you because I hear your fear and frustration. No parent loves the idea of medicating their child. But....for so many...it really is helpful.
To address your concerns:
First, please please please do not listen to those who call Ritalin "kiddie cocaine!" That is just the most destructive thing for a parent to hear. Though they both are stimulants, they are chemically different. Ritalin, when taken as prescribed, does not make a child "high", nor is it addictive. Shame on people who love to use such scare tactics on parents who are only trying to help their child. Do you really think a doctor would prescribe something like that to a youngster? Of course not.
Second, I'm concerned about how you are describing the school staff. I have yet to see school psychologists offer true therapy. Actually, I don't think they are allowed to do that (I could be wrong, but I don't think so). Maybe she is putting in place certain behavioral strategies, but that is not therapy. What your son needs is to be seen by an outside child psychologist or psychiatrist, who can see just what is going on and what help he needs. My experience is that with the problems you are describing, he needs more help than the school can provide.
You don't mention if your son has an IEP or 504 Plan (read our Education section for more info), but from how you are describing the situation, I would suggest you ask the psychologist about his getting one or the other.
There is a lot of information on the site, here. Keep reading and posting; we're here to help.
Terry
Thank you for your response. We are trying to get my son to see a child psychoigist but the only one who takes our insurance isnt taking new patients. I believe that type of therapy is necessary, I'm seeking outside resources to see if another agency can help. I trust my Dr. I have known him 24 years. He is making the decision using history and doesn't prefer to do this because of lack of study in young children. My child came from a school where he had an IEP, this school district declassified him. Then they said we need to "see" what happens, and then we can proceed to re classify him. So, I am starting all over again. The school has no 504 plan. I requested it in writing weeks ago what exactly they are doing and I don't have a response. I will meet with them in person a week from today. My concern is I have heard of heart problems Ritalin may cause. Being that my child is so young and only 46 lbs...the pharmacist looked at me and said "you know he is aweful young to be on this" and well, the Dr. says the same thing. Thank you.
Hi Nikki,
I'm really shocked- well, not really- that your school said they don't have a 504 plan. All schools must follow 504 plans because it is a Civil Rights Law (please refer to our article here at ADHD Central: Section 504 for Children with ADHD) . When I hear things like this, my blood just boils. Essentially, what the school is doing is waiving his civil rights and that, of course is illegal. You might want to get the help of an advocate to work with this school, since they are obviously clueless about special education law. WrightsLaw website has advocates and other professionals listed by state at their Yellow Pages section at http://www.yellowpagesforkids.com/help/ma.htm .
As for cardiac problems with Ritalin, my understanding is that the concerns are for those who have an underlying heart condition. If you're worried, you need to discuss this with your son's doctor.
Terry
Nikki,
That is great news- whew! Please keep us posted, ok?
Terry