Stop Obsessing! Taming the Worry Wart and Rumination

Dr. Ned Hallowell and Sari Solden, ADHD authors and experts, write about the relationship between ADHD and obsessing. And I, too, see it all the time; not just in myself, but from many years of talking to adults with ADHD. Besides the fact that our brains seem to be in either full throttle speed or in a dazed, sluggish and sleepy mode, there's also the fact that we tend to hyperfocus. If we're lucky, hyperfocus mode allows us to put 1 million gazillion percent of our cognitive energy into doing something productive, like finishing a paper for school (the night before, of course- thank you adrenaline!), or getting lost in a novel. Or learning to play a new instrument. You know, doing something to the point where you have no clue what century you're living in or when you'd eaten your last meal.

That's the plus side of hyperfocus.

The down side is getting stuck in negative thoughts or, as I call it, "looping", like the car scenario above. "If I buy the silver car, I'll get bored. If I buy the blue car, I might hate it," etc.

Obviously, the example above is quite minor in the scheme of things. But what about when we obsess over our hurt feelings? Or the idea that we could have made better decisions in life? Or getting stuck over broken relationships? One of the more common obsessions I see is getting sucked into our emotional state; getting stuck in our own anger, for example, until it literally eats us up alive. And even then, we can't seem to step out of that negativity.

Dr. Hallowell, in his article, "Adult ADHD: 50 Tips on Management" explains it this way: "Something 'startles' your psychological system, a change or transition, a disappointment or even a success. The precipitant may be quite trivial. This "startle" is followed by a mini-panic with a sudden loss of perspective, the world being set topsy-turvy. You try to deal with this panic by falling into a mode of obsessing and ruminating over one or another aspect of the situation. This can last for hours, days, even months."

How To Stop Obsessing

First, it's important to recognize what is normal obsessing in the context of having ADHD- the whole "getting stuck" scenario- VS a comorbid condition seen with ADHD that might be a more serious form of obsessing/ruminating, such as in OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), anxiety or depression. In the latter examples, it would be important to bring this to the attention of a clinician who can help you with this, either through cognitive behavioral therapy or medication, or both. But with every day obsessing seen in ADHD, try:

• Setting aside time once a day, if necessary, to allow yourself to obsess. Really get into it with all of your energy, even writing down your worries, if you'd like. The important part, though, is recognizing that once your time is up, you must promise yourself to let go of these thoughts till the next go-around.
• Making lists of pros and cons when trying to make a decision.
• Writing down your obsession, then having a ceremonial ritual of ripping the paper up and burning or burying it.
• Finding other activities that you can turn to when you find yourself obsessing.
• Examining the triggers and learning new strategies for stopping yourself before getting into a looping behavior.
• Taking up meditation. In some forms of meditation, you are forced to repeat certain words- or mantras- which will make it almost impossible to obsess over your worries.

All in all, know that obsessing and ruminating are simply part of having an ADHD brain. And if it becomes more than a bit irritating or causes conflict, consider getting professional advice to help you in dealing with this often maddening behavior.