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ADHD in the Elderly
Eileen Bailey
Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 08:08 PM -
ADHD In The Elderly
Lisa
Tuesday, October 13, 2009 at 09:44 AMTerry,
I realized a couple of years ago that my Mother, now age 74, has undiagnosed ADHD. I am as sure of it as I can be based on all of the reading I have done, and on my knowledge of my Mother. I have always known she was different than other people. I have known she was depressed, anxous, etc. My husbend said something, and it just clicked.
It is such a shame that she has never gotten the help she needed, and that our entire family has been affected by her illness. It is very unlikely that she will ever accept or receive any treatment, but at least I now realize what the problem is.
Thank you for your interest in this subject. There is indeed very little information out there.
re: ADHD In The Elderly
Terry Matlen, ACSW
Tuesday, October 13, 2009 at 10:51 AMHi Lisa,
This really is an area that has not been explored and it's a shame. Are you sure your mother wouldn't be open to discovering this possibility? Would she read about ADHD? Is there anyone else in the family who has it so it could be approached that way?
Terry
www.MomsWithADD.com
re: re: ADHD In The Elderly
Lisa
Tuesday, October 13, 2009 at 01:51 PMI didn't think anyone would ever see my comment. Thank you for replying.
I am not aware of anyone else in the family who has ever had this condition. I have showed information to my Dad, but he is not about to try to make her do anything she doesn't want to do. He has spent over 50 years trying to keep the peace. He feels he can live with her the way she is, but I sure don't know how he does it.
I have not actually had the nerve to approach her with my suspisions. She has never been able to accept blame for anything. She feels that everything that has ever gone wrong in her life has been someone elses fault. She has such poor self-esteem that she cannot admit to doing anything wrong without feeling like she has no right to even exist. She never felt wanted by her Dad during her childhood, and I think that has a lot to do with it.
At this late date, I'm not sure it's worth trying to do anything about. I just wish she had gotten help so long ago. It would have made such a difference in all of our lives.
Lisa
re: re: re: ADHD In The Elderly
Terry Matlen, ACSW
Tuesday, October 13, 2009 at 03:27 PMHi Lisa,
That's so sad. Her life could have been so much different with an appropriate diagnosis/treatment. I guess the best you can do is what you're doing now- seeing her with this new lens- a woman with undiagnosed ADHD.
Perhaps it would help to get support for you? There are a number of online communities, for example. Or local CHADD meetings (www.chadd.org).
Wishing you the best-
Terry
re: re: re: re: ADHD In The Elderly
Lisa
Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 08:41 AMIt has taken me a lot of years to get to where I am now. There have been times in my life when I just had to stay away from her. I have a lot of regrets, and I've had a lot of anger. I can spend time with her now, but she gets to me after a couple of days. My brother, on the other hand, can't spend any time with her at all. He has always felt that she behaves the way she does on purpose. He just hasn't been able to forgive her for being the way she is. I feel that she has always meant well. She does the best she can. However, I still do feel some anger that she has never taken responsibility for her own behavior.
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Terry,
I have researched this subject myself in the past and also have found almost no viable information. This is a good topic to address, as time goes on, maybe more information will be available on the specific struggles of ADHD in the elderly.
The one person I did speak with a few years back discussed her frustration at the little information available and also talked about how it was difficult to adjust to the diagnosis at a "late" age. She had discovered her ADHD when in her 60s and was the result of her grandson being diagnosed. The diagnosis came as a complete surprise to her, but at the same time explained so much of her life. It was a revelation, she told me, and one that she wasn't sure she wanted. But in the end, she was glad that somehow her "deficiencies" were explainable.
It was an interesting conversation and one that I am recalling here as I no longer have the documentation to help me remember. Hopefully, more information will become available.
Thanks for bringing this very important topic to our site.
Eileen