How to Be a Better Listener: 15 Tips to help you Stay Connected

I have this kind of problem too. I've been diagnosed with Auditory Processing Disorder. I think it's a co-mobidity more closely linked to dyslexia, which I also have. It means I hear what someone says but somehow it just doesn't seem to stick in my brain. It's not that it doesn't even make sense; my brain just doesn't take it in at all. The problem is it's not consistant - sometimes I don't have a problem and other times it's really bad.

I'm a secretary and have to take minutes for meetings which can be difficult. Because I'm also dyslexic I have problems writing (especially quickly - I genuinely can't read what I've writen and neither can anyone else) so I take a laptop into meetings and type straight into it. It means I can read the resulting work and it also seems to help the information I've heard to sink in (and the auto correct function in Word is amazingly useful).

I've only just learned about this disorder so I've not had the chance to look into it but I'm sure there's more information on the internet.

Hi Suzi,

Welcome to ADHD Central!

Yes, auditory processing is sometimes seen with ADHD. Bravo to you for coming up with a solution that works! Do you also dislike talking on the phone? Many of us have a lot of difficulty with that- we need to see the mouth moving in order to get the message!

Hope you find lots of helpful information here!

Terry

Thanks Terry, Yes - I hate talking on the phone but only for business - I'm okay with friends. I tend to conduct most of my business via email.

Another thing that often bothers me is that I sometimes feel others aren't listening to me but I've started to realise that this is more because I don't always hear their responses to what I say and I'm not really paying attention to body language, etc...

ADD and dyslexia don't make a brilliant combination but it's an interesting challenge to try to come up with some creative solutions.

Hi Suzi,

Now that's an interesting observation- the being too distracted to notice people's reactions to what you're saying. Thanks for sharing that; it really has me thinking.

Terry

Hi Marilyn,

What you're describing is very common- and very painful for those of us with ADHD.

There are two issues here that need to be determined- are you not totally paying attention when you're hearing the questions/info? Or are you not remembering it? Or both?

If it's being distracted, then I think you need to continue to work on the tips you mention that help, ie looking at lips, repeating the answer/comment out loud and then to yourself. In certain situations, it's also perfectly fine to write it down on a piece of paper or on your hand.

If it's working memory (it DOES get into your head, but leaves just as quickly), the writing down would help. But there are now programs that supposedly help with working memory. CogMed is one, but I believe there are otheres- just Google them.

You might also consider consulting with a neuropsychologist to see if they have suggestions.

Hope this helps-

Terry

Terry,

In truth, I think it must be the distractability part of my ADHD. I am still amazed how it can ruin a moment. The other part is really concentrating on one thing at a time. In work or learning situations, writing things down is helpful. In conversations, the eye contact works best. But background noises can totally through me off, movement beside me, etc.  The ease with which I am distracted during conversations is high, or to say it another way, I am extremely sensitive to noise and movement when trying to hold a conversation or recieve information from someone.

Thanks for the suggestions. Will od some research. Am still learning about who I am with ADHD.

Your time and comments are appreciated.

Marilyn 

Hi Marilyn,

Well, the first step is taking notice and figuring out what is throwing you off and you're doing a great job of that! Y'know...we're always learning. I, too am very distracted during conversations and if I can't see the person's mouth, I'm...gone.

Terry