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Sunday, November, 29, 2009
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One Good Reason Why You Shouldn’t Procrastinate

Terry Matlen, ACSW
Terry Matlen, ACSW
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ADHD expert, consultant, writer. Director: www.MomsWithADD.com

ADHD has been part of my life since...oh, since I was born! But I...

Terry Matlen, ACSW

Friday, October 10, 2008
View All of Terry Matlen, ACSW's Posts
I know, I know. The boxes, papers, clothes and dishes are piled sky high. You WANT to take care of it, but it's just impossible to get started. Where do you start? How do you motivate yourself to tackle these endless, boring chores?   ADHD, as I've always said, is not an excuse; it's an explan...
  1. SO Sorry
    Eileen Bailey
    Friday, October 10, 2008 at 02:03 PM

    Terry

     

    I am so sorry to hear about your knee. I know it must be extremely painful and I wish you the best with your surgery on Monday.

     

    As far as the house, it is always last on my list, and I am often glad I am not the type of person that has drop in guests very often.

     

    I will be thinking of you on Monday!!!

     

    Eileen

    Reply
  2. Get well soon.
    Jennifer & Thorn
    Sunday, October 12, 2008 at 07:46 AM

    Hope ur doing better? I know how u feel. My husband is all the time telling me to clean of the computer desk and night stand. I'm bad about paper. There is lots of paper work in my bed room. They past 6 years i've been doing this. 2 times a year my husband will go and tho everything in box or either get so mad that i end up doing it. I"m trying to do better but we'll see how long it last. hope u get better soon. Take it easy and don't worry about ur house i 'm sure ur family and friends know how u are.. U'll get to it soon enought. LOL. Hang in there.

    Reply
  3. Procrastination
    jboberg1102
    Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10:36 PM

    First of all get well soon.  Secondly, I totally understand about boxes and bags of paper work.  My daughter's bedroom was being used for a storage area for years with more boxes being added monthly.  Finally due to desperation my girlfriend, who loves me no matter how sloppy, unorganized and crazy I am, came over several days over several weeks and helped me go through dozens of boxes.  When the school year started I actually continued on my own, more slowly, but continued non-the-less. 

     

    I actually got my daughter's bedroom cleaned and she can have company over now, I am less anxious about having people over and I feel I am truly moving forward.  The hardest think for me is letting go of things and getting rid of things.  I am forever saving stuff for later projects that never happen.

     

    The social anxiety associated with house clutter and dirt is a real draw back in life.  I used to entertain and enjoyed it.  As I have gotten older and more cluttered (we have lived in our 2 bedroom apartment for 17 years), I have found myself entertaining less and less and actually seeing family and friends less and less.  There is a real connection between Women with ADHD and thier self esteem about socializing in thier home.

     

    I have a goal though, finish the boxes that are left in my living room and host the holidays without anxiety.  Here's hoping!

    Reply
    re: Procrastination
    Eruadan
    Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 05:23 AM

    This is really scary!  finding someone else who uses one of the kids bedrooms as long term storage.  Since the kids grew up and moved out, my son's room became my computer room (just barely room for the computer), and my daughter's room became the "guest" room.

     

    One of my ongoing trials is getting the extra junk out of both rooms so we don't have to step or trip over it anymore.  So, after our son wen't back to LA last week, I moved a bunch of the "need to go thru this" into the other room.  Wouldn't be in anyone's way, there.  Right?

     

    Monday, I couldn't get out of bed.  TU morning, I found all the stuff that I'd put onthat bed, sitting on the floor.  My wife had declared me a "biohazard" and vacated the bedroom.  It's WE night (or TH Morning), and I still have a splitting headache, but at least I'm starting to feel somewhat human again. 

     

    Where would we be without procrastination?  (Better off?)

    Reply
  4. Procrastination
    Rettsink
    Sunday, October 19, 2008 at 12:12 PM

    I read your story and wondered why were you talking about me!! Wink My fiance is constantly fussing about how our place looks that I called myself labeling and putting things away. I'm still looking for some important papers. Thinking about being in a hospital doesn't make me want to do anymore straightening up, though; it was just making me a little depressed. Here I am commenting on the story and I need to be writing a paper for my class that was due 1:00 a.m this morning.

     

    I do feel your pain (I need a knee replacement surgery very soon.)

    Reply
  5. Its not just me!
    1stRed
    Thursday, October 23, 2008 at 08:37 AM

     Dont bugger up your knee trying to hide what I'm sure your mother and friend already know about as it could give you another excuse.

     I have never heard myself described so well before I no longer feel unique. I have a lot to do before the pain stops me so this is a short note that quite frankly kept me side tracked for an hour.

     I fully intend to return this evening and complete a full profle to see if there are more of us out there.

     

     Best of luck

                Red

     

    Reply
  6. Yikes!!!
    Ariane Benefit
    Wednesday, October 29, 2008 at 03:57 PM

    Terry, I'm so sorry to hear about your injury!  I can't believe you are lugging boxes and bags around in your condition.  I wish I was there and could help you organize it all!  : )  Get well soon....my thoughts and prayers are with you! 

    Reply
  7. Procrastination
    Anonymous
    Wednesday, October 29, 2008 at 10:51 PM

    I know what you mean, this article is just another very recent reminder for me.  One of my best girlfriends was diagnosed with ovarian cancer one week ago and had surgery Monday to remove all of her female parts and as it turned out some of her colon, liver, and diaphragm as well.  She is a very active, vibrant seemingly healthy person who all of the sudden had the rug pulled out from under her.  It definitely made me think differently about how I spend (ie:waste) alot of my time!

     

    Gina

    Reply
  8. procrastination
    sally
    Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 03:49 PM

    Well, well.....sounds all too familiar, just not the knee.

     

    Prior to carpal tunnel surgery, I ran around the house like an idiot knowing that whatever wasn't done pre-surgery would not get done post-surgery.

     

    So there I was, knowing full well the surgery date and the recovery time, and still didn't get piles sorted, laundry done, etc.  Here I am, 7 weeks post-surgery and I am paying for my procrastination by having to go to occupational therapy 3x week to deal with scar tissue and other (minor) complications, all due to not taking care of the hand afterwards. Which was due to me not getting things done. Etc.

     

    All of this could have been avoided by more realistic planning and actually doing what I planned.  I feel like a phony making lists, etc, because I rarely stick with them.

     

    Sitting in front of my groaning desk, wishing you good healing and fewer piles!

     

     sally

     

     

     

     

     

    Reply
  9. Procrastination Article
    Anonymous
    Thursday, October 30, 2008 at 04:51 PM

    I am just beginning this journey I guess. Your article described me completely. I really didnt realize there were other people "out there" like me. I've felt so alone all my life. It feels good to know there are others like me.  I guess my question would be something like now that I've discovered (and it really has dawned on me) that I have ADHD that is affecting me negatively now as an adult, what can I do about it? I'm a single Mom of a special needs daughter (eplilepsy, development delay and ADHD). I work full time and have no support system at all. I have a million things on my mind all the time regarding work and home life. How do you get over (or whatever) the incredible horrible chronic loneliness we ADHD people feel?  How can I fill the void that's been in my life since I can remember? How can I declutter my house and my life and feel successful and better about myself again?? I'm on antidepressant medication and Adderall for the ADHD along with seeing a psychologist about once a month but my life still doesnt seem to be changing. What can I do to see and feel a REAL positive permanent change in my life? I hope you can help me.

     

    Sherry

    sherry63026@yahoo.com

    Reply
    re: Procrastination Article
    jboberg1102
    Friday, October 31, 2008 at 12:20 AM

    You are not alone!  The real poositive changes are already taking place.  You've been diagnosed.  You are starting to understand your own condition and are taking steps to adress it, (meds and counseling).  The rest comes one step at a time.  I tried meds, and was not happy with the side effects, but I have changed some of the things in my life.  I've educated the people in my life , who now have a better understanding of me and can wave those red flags when I need to stop and reassess or wave those banners to cheer me on.  I;m gradullay learning to do less things and say NO.  I take time for myself to recharge most of the time before I crash (but not always).  It's a process and each day is one more step.  Sometimes the steps won't be forward, sometimes they will be backward, but just like Dory in Finding Nemo Keep on swimming, swimming, swimming.  You have a lot on your plate, all you can do is take one bite at a time.  Good luck!

    Reply
  10. ADHD Procrastination
    balance
    Friday, October 31, 2008 at 08:14 PM
    Terry - get someone in to help you! Get someone to help with the housework;a friend possibly to sit with you or help as you sort and organize piles. I am 54 and while I daily continue to struggle in some ADHD area - I have made much progress in other areas. Someone comes and cleans every other week and this person also has helped the past two years as I cleaned out the basement,closets, and kitchen in an effort to dejunk and organize. Think about getting someone to help you, it's okay and it's just smart.
    Reply
  11. Thank you!
    Terry Matlen, ACSW
    Friday, October 31, 2008 at 11:42 PM

    To everyone who commented and sent their good wishes- thank you!

    My ortho surgeon saw me yesterday and told me I'll have another 3 1/2 weeks in the brace/cast, then can start physical therapy, then...I can DRIVE.

     

    I'm glad my post touched some of you in one way or another. To Sherry- please consider re-posting your note as a stand alone SharePost so others can see it and lend their support and suggestions.

     

    Thanks again,

     

    Terry

    Reply
  12. procrastination
    Anonymous
    Saturday, November 08, 2008 at 04:54 PM

    Good suggestion, however you forget my dear, that thinking ahead, due to wonderful timeblindness, is not typical of ADDers.  There is always the now and the not now.  Also we are very good at telling ourselves that the odds of that happening are slim, even if it isn't true. 

    Reply
  13. broken kneecap
    Anonymous
    Sunday, November 09, 2008 at 11:55 PM

    Condolences ... my story is similar ... happened about 4-6 years ago ... mine was wired back together ... went to phys. therapy almost immediately 2-3 time a week ... followed PT and DR's instructions ... religiously ...wire began to interfere with exercises ... removed ... rapid recovery ... about 99%!  No pain or other problems since recovery ... I was in my 70's when it happened ...now as good as new ... actually better because I am more active than ever ... Take heart ... see you at the conference ... Donna

    Reply
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