I'm a 68 yr old man diagnosed with ADD in jan 2008. My wife noticed and identified my symptoms and insisted that I get help.
I take Wellbutrin and a 30 mg Daytrana patch.
My wife was very disappointed when the meds did not cure me. She has been very intolerant and often called me lazy, stupid and slow, despite having read many books on the subject. She refused to acknowledge that calling me names might damage our otherwise excellent relationship.
I took her to see a therapist I was seeing to discuss her attitude, to no avail.
I'd be willing to keep trying with her indefinately. However, to my great regret she died of a pulmonary embolism in January 2009. So I'm stuck loving and missing her, while at the same time being very angry that she treated me so badly about ADD.
I have number of accomplishments despite the ADD. I have a doctorate from an Ivy League university as well as an undergraduate degree from another Ivy League university. She repeatedly told me that my life had been ruined by ADD and allof my schooling, relationships and jobs had been ruined as a result. She was right to some extent, but wrong to trash my entire life because of it.
Russell
First, I am very sorry for the loss of your wife. I know this must be a difficult time for you.
Medications do not cure ADHD, although they help many people to manage the symptoms. I am sorry that your wife did not understand that and continued to belittle you and your past accomplishments.
As you have said, in many ways, you and your wife enjoyed a wonderful relationship. It is time to focus on those times rather than focusing on the negative of the relationship.
Eileen