I realize the student loans are my responsibility. However, I feel as if I'm at my wit's end, and clueless not only as to what solutions are out there for my situation, but where to even begin.
If anyone can offer some good advice on where to start, I'm all ears.
Ok as generic as this might sound the situation is that you are screwed and you just got know why. I got to know at 38 (3 months ago) and my life had become such a mess that i did not bother anymore. Money, wife soon to be ex, kid, disasters with flying color. Now every person is different of course but the solution is the same. You have to come to the root of the problem, go back 30 years if needed and try to find a solution with a good doctor. 90% of psychiatrists have no idea what they are talking about when it comes to adult add/adhd. They are fools in white robes, I can tell you so many stories as I have been to drs too many times over the years. I asked a fresh graduate if he knew of "adult add" and he looked at me as if i spoke hyroglific I went mad and made sure the medical community knows. I almost punched him as he is waisting people's time because of his ignorance, he is covered by DSM IV when DSM V comes up these morons should wake up.
Find a solution first then work on the debt, it is not a small amount but not a huge one too. Solution, income/job, it will take some time for your brain to come to terms with a new reality very intimately linked to your daily life so far. It will take time wheather you like or not but you have to get to the root. I am in a similar situation with regards to loans, got fired twice in less than a year because I was acting like a moron and had no idea, now i am experiencing the horror part of the deal.
The list can be long but the path is the same, you need patience. If it took you 10 years to accumulate the loan it could take another 10 to get rid of it but it's a step forward. Forwardness is what you need, enough shit hitting the fan and not knowing where the shit or the fan are coming from. we have to make sure the next generation does not go through this hell......good luck
I personally am dreaming of a situation where i can do so much and make so much money and show off (not in normal situation only fucked up like this), go on over the top luxury vacation and indulge big time to the point of being vain that it will compensate for all the lost soldiers.........
Thanks for your response and advice. I did find a doctor here in California, that does research and treatment of AD/HD both for children and adults, and I'm getting treatment/help for my AD/HD.
Some of what you said definitely rings true in the sense that even with a legitimate, medical diagnosis (mind you, arrived at by performing proper evaluations/tests), people STILL don't believe I have AD/HD!
I've had people accuse me of faking my AD/HD, and in one case, I had someone accuse me (by way of implication), that I was trying to fake a disability, so that I could draw workers' comp/disability (go figure)!
Well, I appreciate your comments, and in the meantime, any info I can find that'll help us, I'll make sure to pass along to this site.
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I had trouble in college in 91, went on financial aid suspension because of grades, had to leave school and I too am stuck with mounting student loan debt. Last I saw the statement was $84,000. I am single, 50, and unemployed since Feb 09. My 30 y/o daughter lives in Ohio & recently married June 14. Two of my siblings live in other states and my third sibling lives nearby, busy doing other things. I took care of my mom taking her to appts, bathing her, cooking meals & taking them over to her apt., grocery shopped and generally helped where I could. Mom passed away on July 14, 09. I am so sad and feel so lost. She was my reason to leave the house a lot of days. It is obvious to me that ADHD adults without a support system become depressed individuals. How can ya not?
My advice to you is to choose your battles. Your student loans will always be there and this won't change. Since you can't pay them down shift your focus to things you can change. Take care of yourself and your mom and let the debt fall lower on your priority list.
I find I'm having to learn how to make myself my priority. I rely on my faith in God to get me through the tought times because that is all I have. I rented a room for income in January but he moved out Aug 1. My friend came to support me after mom's passing and he left Aug 2. I am now in this house I rent all by myself with my kitty and mom's ferret. It is easy for me to crawl into bed and do nothing but sleep. I've been smoking twice as much and eating twice as much so I do worry about falling apart. I cannot live like that and I know I have to seek support. I suggest you do the same if you find life overwhelming. I am proud of you for being there for your mom; she needs you!
You can email me for support or to vent if you want @ beachgal59 via gmail. Get the cryptography? Be good to yourself.
Sorry for the very late reply, but ironically, just as you discussed in your comments, one of the things I've had to come to terms with my AD/HD, is that I have to prioritize what I do (aka "picking/choosing battles"), and do the best I can in the follow through. Hence, finally getting around to reading your comments, and my late response.
Frankly, your answer is NOT exactly what I was hoping to hear (so what else is new), but at the same time--and in a weird sort of way--it was comforting to know that I'm not the only person in the world whose in this situation.
Someone sent me another response to my situtation, and what they said sort of complements what you said: Deal with getting "rehabilitated" first (e.g., treatment, behavior modification, etc.), THEN deal with the loan situation (relates to picking/choosing battles).
I'm going to follow both of y'all's advice (sorry, that's what happens when I visit kinfolk in Arkansas). But at the same time, if I hear of other, appropriate means (e.g., work, partial forgiveness, etc.) to resolve the situation a bit more rapidly.......As we surfers in California say, "Go for it dude!". Of, course, because I ain't a selfish bastard, I'll gladly pass it along at this site.