coaching

Help Parenting ADHD with ODD child

janice Community Member May 21, 2009
  • Has anyone had any success with a program called The Total Transformation Program by James Lehman.  I am struggling with parenting my almost 11 yr old daughter with ADHD and ODD?  If you don't know about that program is there one out there you thought helped or a book you felt you could recommend?

     

20 Comments
  • Eileen Bailey
    Health Guide
    May. 23, 2009

    Thanks for your question and welcome to ADHDCentral.com.

    I have not had the opportunity to use The Total Transformation Program but have read a number of blogs/reviews on it. It is hard to know whether a blog is an advertisement for the program or whether it is a honest blog from someone who has used the program and is giving their opinion, but I think some...

    RHMLucky777

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    Thanks for your question and welcome to ADHDCentral.com.

    I have not had the opportunity to use The Total Transformation Program but have read a number of blogs/reviews on it. It is hard to know whether a blog is an advertisement for the program or whether it is a honest blog from someone who has used the program and is giving their opinion, but I think some are honest. 

    The program, from what I have read, provides detailed lessons to help parents transform themselves, therefore transforming their child. It is meant to help parents become better parents, for example, one blog talked about ineffective parenting styles, such as the person that gives their child everything to make him or her behave, the parent that wants to protect their child from pain, the parent that gives in.  

    We all know these parenting styles are ineffective, so I am not sure this is new information, however, we don't always have a step by step guide on how to change our parenting style.  

    The reviews I have read seem mostly pleased with the program. If you choose to use it, I would love to know how it works for you and what you think of the program. 

    One blog did talk about a free trial, it seems if you are considering it, you should investigate the free trial to give you a chance to look it over first. 

    Eileen

  • Anonymous
    HOPELESS MOM
    May. 27, 2012

    my daughter is 11 too and omg im gonna have a heartattack... no1 can help me and it jus keeps gettin worse im so stressed out ! she has odd anjd adhd shes on 10mg celexa and 10mg daytrona patch but its hard every day she lies sneaks disobeys disrespectfu;l and sahe jus doesnt care n she holds everything in :( HELP !

  • Dave
    Oct. 17, 2009

    One other detail to be aware of is that there are 6 or 7 types of add/adhd.  Most  family doctors have no clue about this and they treat them all with stimulants.  If you treat 4 of them just with stimulants you'll make them worse.

     

    Read Dr. Amen's book get a REALLY good specialist psychiatrist who has LOTS of experience with this. ...

    RHMLucky777

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    One other detail to be aware of is that there are 6 or 7 types of add/adhd.  Most  family doctors have no clue about this and they treat them all with stimulants.  If you treat 4 of them just with stimulants you'll make them worse.

     

    Read Dr. Amen's book get a REALLY good specialist psychiatrist who has LOTS of experience with this.  They'll also be better at determining whether as one commenter mentions, whether it's bipolar or something other than add/adhd. 

    • Anonymous
      krissy
      Oct. 17, 2009

      my 6 yr old daughter recently got put on adderall er, and my husband and I think she seems to be getting worse when she's on it. Now at school her teacher sees an improvement in her paying attention. But her not paying attention wasn't the typical of an adhd child; she wasn't fidgeting or doing other things while the teacher was teaching or disrupting the class...

      RHMLucky777

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      my 6 yr old daughter recently got put on adderall er, and my husband and I think she seems to be getting worse when she's on it. Now at school her teacher sees an improvement in her paying attention. But her not paying attention wasn't the typical of an adhd child; she wasn't fidgeting or doing other things while the teacher was teaching or disrupting the class by acting out, it was like she was dazing out  she would be looking at the teacher like she was paying attention,but whenthe teacher would say her name or ask her a guestion about what she was talking about my daughter would have "the deer in a headlight look on her face". nNow at home is a totally different story .... at home is more of an odd behavior. So I'm curious about the 6or 7 types of add/adhd that there is b/c I definantly think she has one of the 4 that you can't treat with just stimulants. I'm almost doubting that she even has it b/c of how the stimulant makes her have more temper tantrums and is meaner to her siblings and her friends. I too am interested in trying the james lehman tt program. if anybody has any advice I'd love to hear it!! thanks

  • Dave
    Oct. 17, 2009

    There is a great book by Dr. Daniel Amen about Add/adhd.  Lots of good info. on the parenting of it, the right nutrition, the impact of exercise and supplements and medication info. 

     

    Well worth the time and helps to realize and understand the brain's activity is different with a person with add/adhd.

  • becca1990
    Sep. 10, 2009

    yes, I heard of  this program, and interested in it. can I ask you a question? Will this help my 19 yr old, even if he feels like he has no problem except for when someone, mostly our family, upsets him. then its all about kicking or hitting walls, breaking or throwing things slamming doors, and swearing very bad?  My son has had problems since...

    RHMLucky777

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    yes, I heard of  this program, and interested in it. can I ask you a question? Will this help my 19 yr old, even if he feels like he has no problem except for when someone, mostly our family, upsets him. then its all about kicking or hitting walls, breaking or throwing things slamming doors, and swearing very bad?  My son has had problems since he was a toddler. I have lots of documents from the time I realized I needed to do what what I could for him.

  • Anonymous
    KDS
    Aug. 17, 2009
    I think this program works. It does take a lot of work being consistent with it. I've found trying to coach my daughter to be mature has also helped. All kids want to feel grown up and the first step to those "Rites of Passage" are maturity. Being mature means responsibility for your actions, something the TT program calls 'accountability'. James Lehman puts...
    RHMLucky777
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    I think this program works. It does take a lot of work being consistent with it. I've found trying to coach my daughter to be mature has also helped. All kids want to feel grown up and the first step to those "Rites of Passage" are maturity. Being mature means responsibility for your actions, something the TT program calls 'accountability'. James Lehman puts it point blank. I recommend this program if your willing to learn it like a classroom course. Start now. I waited too late.
    • Anonymous
      Anonymous
      Aug. 19, 2009

      I have a son who is 18 1/2 yrs old with Add, Odd, borderline intelligence, OCD, and bi-polar.  He is also a truant from school. Prior to this he was in a residential placement setting for a year and half. He is presently mandated to attend counseling and group sessions.  I think he has a lot of underlying resentment for this placement. Is...

      RHMLucky777

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      I have a son who is 18 1/2 yrs old with Add, Odd, borderline intelligence, OCD, and bi-polar.  He is also a truant from school. Prior to this he was in a residential placement setting for a year and half. He is presently mandated to attend counseling and group sessions.  I think he has a lot of underlying resentment for this placement. Is it too late to use the TT program as it appears to be focused toward younger children.  He has been in a lot of trouble with the law.  I have tried using the token system but it does not work.  Any suggestions, out there for those who used the TT program? Is there any information on what has worked with older teenagers and what has not?  PLEASE POST ANY INFO FOR ALL OF US TO LEARN. = THANKS, CATHIE

    • trish3
      Nov. 17, 2010

      what is boarderline intellegence my mom's family had that when they were small I didn't think that was something they use anymore?

  • Anonymous
    M. Kennedy
    Aug. 12, 2009

    Hi.  I just found out about this site and read your post.  I just wanted to throw something out there to you- are you 100% sure your daughter has ADHD and ODD?  Six years ago I was sure about my son, but as it turned out, he ended up having Juvenile Bipolar.  And what made it worse was that the stimulants he was taking for his "supposed"...

    RHMLucky777

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    Hi.  I just found out about this site and read your post.  I just wanted to throw something out there to you- are you 100% sure your daughter has ADHD and ODD?  Six years ago I was sure about my son, but as it turned out, he ended up having Juvenile Bipolar.  And what made it worse was that the stimulants he was taking for his "supposed" ADHD were actually exascerbating his symptoms.  I don't think that alot of people know this, but a very large percentage of children eventually diagnosed with juvenile bipolar were first misdiagnosed with ADHD and ODD because the symptoms are very similar and overlap.  The book that "saved our lives," so to speak, is THE BIPOLAR CHILD by Dr. Demitri Papolos, M.D., and JAnice Papolos.  By no means am I trying to say that your daughter does not have ADHD and that she is bipolar, but I am just trying to give you some ideas.  As I am sure that your child means the world to you and you want a proper diagnosis for her, it's certainly worth looking into.  Good luck and all the best to you and your daughter! 

    • becca1990
      Sep. 10, 2009

      Oh my God, I think you are a God sent, And for me its worth looking into. My son, when I personally felt in my heart that something was wrong with my son, He was a toddler. I thought at first  I might be over reacting, Then as time went on, I knew something was wrong but, I didn't know what. When I had taken him to Sylvan LEARNING Center because he was...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Oh my God, I think you are a God sent, And for me its worth looking into. My son, when I personally felt in my heart that something was wrong with my son, He was a toddler. I thought at first  I might be over reacting, Then as time went on, I knew something was wrong but, I didn't know what. When I had taken him to Sylvan LEARNING Center because he was failing 1st grade, which was a private school. He inproved in 6 wks in grades but, she also told me that he might have ADD. I could really tell you alot more but, I don't think I have enough space.But I felt like none of the medication worked for my son with his distructive behavior. The last Doctor we went to when he was in 10th grade said he was boarderline on being Bypolar. Before he was ADD, ODD their was 1 more I can't remember it. This was the biggest concern to me when he was young, Until finally, a Doctor saw what I saw, thats how he started to get help in school.But not until I had found an advocate. The program seemed to be more focused on him to function in the classroom. I was concerned and stated many times that his thinking was off, the way he thought of things, the way he would ractionalize situations. My son never showed any emotion when he was young, He just expressed when he was angry, I didn't know what made him happy, I would even ask him what do you like, or ask him what he wants to do. He'd always say I don't know. He didn't smile much. These are things I noticed about my son. It was killing me, because I didn't know what to do for him

    • Anonymous
      eflippo
      Oct. 15, 2009

      My eleven year old was first diagnosed with ODD, we tried treating the ODD with no success and he also attends a behaivoral academy 5 days a week after school....it was not til we found an excellent psychiatrist that diagnosed him with Social Anxiety Disorder and started treating that, did we start seeing his social skills and the rude and unacceptable behaivor...

      RHMLucky777

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      My eleven year old was first diagnosed with ODD, we tried treating the ODD with no success and he also attends a behaivoral academy 5 days a week after school....it was not til we found an excellent psychiatrist that diagnosed him with Social Anxiety Disorder and started treating that, did we start seeing his social skills and the rude and unacceptable behaivor start to detour....we are now having much success with the correct diagnosis and correct meds....not an over night cure...but an overnight success I do believe.....keep educating yourself with many different emotional and social disorders and you to will find help...it took me 7 years to getthe right diagnoses and meds....he is doing so much better now and is a happy child, the 7 years of research and all the doctors has paid off.....also there is a wonderful program called Brain Gym that we use with meditation for helping the child cope and relax.

    • trish3
      Nov. 16, 2010

      my son was diagnosed with odd cd ocd and anxiety and adhd I have read that book and it is so him. what saved you in that book I remember it vagley. Can you tell me what made you think your son was bp please help thanks

    • KSAMom
      Nov. 17, 2010

      There are so many things in the book that were helpful, but they are far too many to write here, so I will try to do the best I can...

       

      Basically it was Dr. Demitri alerting me to the danger of my son being on the stimulants for ADHD, as well as the anti-depressants that one doctor had wanted to put him on for his "slight depressive state," that helped...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      There are so many things in the book that were helpful, but they are far too many to write here, so I will try to do the best I can...

       

      Basically it was Dr. Demitri alerting me to the danger of my son being on the stimulants for ADHD, as well as the anti-depressants that one doctor had wanted to put him on for his "slight depressive state," that helped us the most.  Both of those drugs can really wreak havoc with a child who is bipolar.

       

      Also, Dr. Demitri emphasized the necessity of "stabilizing" the child, which we were able to do with a mood stabilizer, Lamictal (which, by the way, is also used for epilepsy and migraines).  Once my son stopped the Concerta and started the Lamictal, he was a new person.  Of course, psychotherapy also helped tremendously.

       

      In the book there is kind of like a "checklist" of symptoms of bipolar in children, many of which people would never associate with bipolar, some starting as early as infancy, such as erratic sleep patterns and diffficulty in settling.  There is also precociousness, separation anxiety, night terrors and vivid nightmares, fear of death and annihilation, problems with temperature (always feeling hot), bedwetting, craving carbs and sweets and the more recognized ones of raging, oppositional behavior, hyperactivity, mania, rapid cycling, sensitivity to stimuli,  problems with peers, hallucinations, and even suicidal ideas.

       

      When I read through the pages of the book that discussed all of these various symptoms, I kept saying, "That's my son!"  It was unbelieveable how many of these symptoms he had, but I never put two and two together and made the association because I never knew them to be symptoms of juvenile bipolar.  As the doctor described in the book, you don't really realize that these symptoms are problems in and of themselves when you look at them one by one singly.  But when you see them all together as a whole, they paint an entirely different picture.

       

      Anyway, sorry for such a long response... I could go on and on- the book is that much of a life-saver in my eyes, but like I said before, everybody's case is different.  Regardless of what your  child has, I wish you the best of luck.

    • KSAMom
      Nov. 17, 2010

      To avoid confusion, I am M. Kennedy.  I also go by KSAMom on the BiPolar website, and now  that they are all linked together, I accidently ut myself as that here.

      To answer your question in a shorter form than my last long answer, I guess the biggest thing that made me start to doubt the ADHD diagnosis and start to question the possibilty of juvenile...

      RHMLucky777

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      To avoid confusion, I am M. Kennedy.  I also go by KSAMom on the BiPolar website, and now  that they are all linked together, I accidently ut myself as that here.

      To answer your question in a shorter form than my last long answer, I guess the biggest thing that made me start to doubt the ADHD diagnosis and start to question the possibilty of juvenile bipolar is that even when my son was on the CNS stimulant, Concerta, he still had mood swings and the hyperactivity was never fully controlled. He would get very violent and always want to beat on his younger brother.  Now, none of that is present.

       

      Hope that helps.

  • Anonymous
    Kathy
    Jul. 23, 2009
    I too would like to know if total transformation works. My son is 18 years old has been to a residential placement for a year and half with them using the token system and when he came back home he was fine for about three weeks then started to repeat his same behavior. We used the token system at home when he came back but he did not respond to us.
  • Anonymous
    Kim
    Jul. 22, 2009

    Hi,

    I'm not sure about the program, but I just got it and I will let you know in a week on how things are going.

    • janice
      Jul. 31, 2009

      Thank you, please do let me know how things go.  I am interested and hopeful for you.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Jul. 01, 2009

    My husband and I have this program.  We are up to the third lesson.  So far, the lessons have described the problems of the children and then the ineffective parenting skills when dealing with these children.  It's almost spooky how spot-on this guy is about describing the kids and the parents.  Hopefully we will be getting into how to parent...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    My husband and I have this program.  We are up to the third lesson.  So far, the lessons have described the problems of the children and then the ineffective parenting skills when dealing with these children.  It's almost spooky how spot-on this guy is about describing the kids and the parents.  Hopefully we will be getting into how to parent the child we have..... not the one we wish we had.  

    So, my verdict is: So Far - So Good.

    • janice
      Jul. 31, 2009

      Thanks for your comment.  How are things going now?  My daughter is going through a spell or relatively good spell behavior wise and then I am not sure I want to spend the money on a program.  Then she goes through a spell of belligerent, rude and stubbon spell and I'm ready to try something again.  So I would like to how of the success...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Thanks for your comment.  How are things going now?  My daughter is going through a spell or relatively good spell behavior wise and then I am not sure I want to spend the money on a program.  Then she goes through a spell of belligerent, rude and stubbon spell and I'm ready to try something again.  So I would like to how of the success or failure of this progam in your families experience and my hope is for you that it will be a success!