Standtall***Keep Losing Friends***

Hi, I empathize with you. Having had adhd 55 years and sharing some of the same traits of this condition that you have....I understand your frustrations. Listen, keep standing tall. I wish I had all the answers but I don't, what I do know is that any of us that have add or adhd must keep standing tall and remembering that we are a lot better off than many others who have much worse conditions or handicaps to deal with. I will be praying for you.

Blessings to you,

Tom

Dear Stand Tall

I am glad you have been doing better lately, but it sounds as if you had it rough for awhile, I am sorry for that.

As far as friends, I don't know if I would go so far as to hold interviews, but you can check out some support groups in your area. This might be a good way to meet people with ADD in your area. Both CHADD and ADDA have support group listings.

Although I know you feel that you did have 20 friends and now only have 4, it seems you didn't really have 20 friends if they did not stick by you when you needed friends around you. I think having 4 friends that are truly friends is better than having 20 "fair weather" friends.

Keep posting, here you will never be judged or meant to feel as if there is anything wrong with you. We want to hear how you are doing, what is going on and all about your successes and struggles.

Eileen

I've grown up with your problem. My best advice is to be your own best friend. I've learn that I can't control what others think of me. I've tried overcompensating by trying impressing the people around me with my money, intellengence and ability to be the life of the party. It took me years to realize that I was just trying to give them good memories that would balance out When (not if) I screwed up. When I did this I could biuld up a good bunch of friends, hell, I was mister popularity. I joined a Fraternity, I was in theater, Student Governement in College, etc... Each situational end with me losing control because I couldn't control my implusivity. I would do something stupid that would offend or embarass my "friends" and lose what ever I had gained and make me the most well know bastard around. It felt like I was busy trying to keep more plates in the air and just so they could make a bigger show when they came crashing down.

  What I think I've learned, eventually, was that I was trying to surrond myself with people to drown out the fear of being with myself. As you might have guess, I'm hyper and not inattentive. My brain doesn't stop unless I'm able to focus it on something else. While medication (Welbutrin) has help, what help even more was learning thow to be by myself. Until I learned how to be by myself no one wanted to be there with me.

Now I have fewer freinds. I'm not the most popular guy in the room, and I don't try to be.  The friends I have all accept me for who I am. Currently I could say I have 4 real friends around the country that aren't related to me, but they aren't going anywhere. One of them happens to be my girlfreinds that I think I might actually marry (shh.. don't tell her yet). I don't think I could have kept any of them without learning how to be by myself first. I hope this helps.