Down,and Out

First I would like to say that I know how you feel because I have been there before.  However, in my situation it was my husband that felt that I didn't do anything around the house and such.  It was very difficult to live the way we did and somewhere along the way, I was diagnosed with depression.  The anti-depressants worked for a while but it didn't allow for me to actually deal with the core issue because the marriage fell apart less than 3 years after the diagnosis.  I left my husband and moved back home with my 2 daughters.  Three more years went by before I was ever told that I was mis-diagnosed with depression and told that the true culprit for my inability to finish my tasks and be able to focus on the details of my life, my marriage, my children, and my husband was because of Adult ADD.  If you read my first post to the SharePost you can get an idea of my medical history.  What I have come to learn these past two months though is that the medication is not a magic pill but the medicine needed for our brain to work properly by allowing the neurotransmitters to function.  However, since those neurotransmitters were never working to begin with, we essentially have not exercised them to function the way they are supposed to.  This has been very hard for me to understand and cope with.  I become anxious just thinking about whether or not I will be able to use my brain the way it was supposed to work...to train it to be oranized and focused.  I have been searching for exercises or behavioral strategies that I can use in combination with my medication so that I learn the correct way to process the information that comes across to me.  I was always doing it "my way" but by doing it that way, I was always just using the part of my brain that worked.  I hope I am making sense to you.  Unfortunately, your wife will have to decide if she wants to be a positive infuence in your adventure to well-being or not.  I lost my husband becaue he was not willing to help me find out why we were not working out.  Since our divorce, I have found a new love and he has been very influencial and positive about making sure that I get better.  He has worked with me through my drawbacks and stubbles and at times I don't know how he has the patience to be a help to me.....I forgot to pay the car 3 months in a row and it is a car that he bought under his name for me.  So you can imagine how this can affect the people you love and yet you are honest to God about the fact that you don't have much control over it.  We can only control the areas in our life that we keep practicing in order to get better and that includes remembering to take our medication every day and remembering to show the people we love that we do love them and that we are trying.  My ex-husband and I are now able to communicate positively and I have provided him with articles pertaining to ADHD so that he can be aware of what I am going through and what I was going through.  Our lives have continued in different directions that the opportunity to work it out is not an option.  I love my new life and my new partner and he is quite content with his new love.  In any case, meds alone will not be the fix and that was my rude awakinging 2 months ago.  Read, research, practice, and involve your wife in your progress but remember to be real with her too.  She has the option to decide if she will want to be there for you as your wife and as your support.  Hopefully she will.

Wish you the best!

Emma M.