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I think this article offers wonderful insight into what must be a frightening process, as well as excellent advice on how to make it not so frightening. I must say I am disappointed in whatever school system you were involved with. I would think the "professionals" would realize parents simply want what is needed for their children. Perhaps they do, but they should be humble too, and realize that perhaps a childs parent is the best source of understanding about those needs. I was a bit pissed I guess. Perhaps I should not be an advocate.
Hi, my name is Jessica Ramirez
And I find myself in the same shoes as you. I'l be meeting with staff at his middle school and they are trying to kick him out of his home campuse. They don't want to give him chance. I really feel like giving up I have been fighting with them for the last two years. I have my mother going in with me this monday. With hte hope that may listen to her. Reading your letter helps me understand that we as parents need to stand up for our kids.
When you get in that room with all of those self styled experts, you will need all the help you can get. You will need to be totally prepared for the encounter as you will feel the school, a place that is supposed to help your child, is working against you. Sadly, your feelings may very well prove to be correct!!!
In my case, my child was diagnosed with ADD as well as Aspergers. In order to make my point, I purchased a book about Aspergers and gave it to the school psychologist. She was not really that familar with Aspergers ....... if you can believe that!!!! By having the book and being able to point to it ...... it gave me some advantage and the upper hand.
The meeting with the school experts should be treated as if you are engaged in a military exercise. You need every weapon at your disposal because in this case the school has turned into your adversary rather than your friend.
An expert Advocate is a great idea. But this is by itself is not enough. The Advocate must be prepped for this mission. He should meet with your child, read all the doctor's reports and discuss with you what it is your child needs. Then when you get in the meeting you can present a united front and be totally on the same page.
This meeting is big league and you need to be armed with any and every advantage you can come up with. Only then will you have a fighting chance of getting what you need from the school on behalf of your child.
First let me say that I have been on both "sides" of the fence, as a parent, and as a team member. I agree, that an advocate is invaluable for providing the support that parents need. After all, as a parent, we know what's best for our kid, but it's very difficult to feel that confidence in a room of educational "professionals".
Having said that, I would like to point out, (hopefully, and at least in my experience, both as a parent and a special educator and team member) that the author has stated this meeting happened many years ago. I believe that the adversarial type of meeting is not as common now as it was then, anectdotal evidence aside. We've all got our horror stories, granted. I know for myself, and my colleagues, we want what is best for the child. Not what we are "able to provide", not what we "can afford as a district", but what is BEST for the Child. The best part of having a knowledgable advocate, is that he or she can best explain IDEA, in order for parents to really understand the intent of the act. Often, that is where misunderstandings begin.
Thanks for letting me put in my 2 cents worth. P.S. I also work as a respite provider for developmentally disabled children, and advocate for them at their IEP meetings.
A teacher.
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I don't see how most parents can through such a process without an advocate. The intense emotional roller coaster they are on can make it hard to think and often, an advocate, like an attorney, is considered to be more objective and less attached by the array of people deciding a child's needs. A good advocate knows how and when to step in and support you.
You were very fortunate that your advocate knew your son to meet the inevitable question of, have you met their child? How do you know what he needs?
I can't image the preparation and study which goes into facing a group with such power concerning the help your child will receive. But you've given terrific advice about finding an advocate before this conference arrives.