Children who have ADHD and children who are on the Autism Spectrum can often engage in behaviors which can cause great disruption and chaos in their home and school environments. I am going to be discussing many of these behaviors and give you some ideas about what you can do to decrease their ...
Behavior Management Series: Hitting and Kicking
7/ 9/09 9:01am
I was taught as a child to walk away when one's personal space was 'invaded'. The problem? The invasion came from being teased and tormented for being 'different' (read WEIRD). I just wanted to be left alone. Walking away didn't work as the individual (or group) would follow; all along keeping up the abuse. Eventually I would reach my endpoint and lash out physically. The individual whom I smacked would sometimes back off. The group would beat me up. Inevitably a fight would ensue no matter what. Then when I got home, I would get in trouble and consequently punnished for fighting as the other parents' attitude was that of "not MY child!" Add to that the prevalent attitude: "He brings it on himself." This kind of behavior is what led to 'Columbine'. Times have not changed in this respect. Children nowadays are still cruel, sadistic inhuman beasts. I went through my ordeals 40 odd years ago. If your child is acting out in this manner, first do NOT intervene as it will make matters worse amonsgt his/her peers. Stand up for your child and demand a recconing from the parents AND authorities. For your childs sake do not 'pour salt on a wound'.
7/10/09 7:16pm
Hi there
First of all I want to say how very sorry I am that you had to endure such abuse as a child. I am hopeful that times are changing slowly but surely for schools to have a zero tolerance for bullying and to protect our most vulnerable populations. In a perfect world such things would not go on but sadly...they do.
It is always hard for me to write knowing that whatever topic I choose to write about comes from a particular frame of reference...usually my own child or my days teaching people with multiple disabilities. And sometimes my focus will not be broad enough to include all examples. So I am glad you brought forth your story here to share.
Can you tell us more about you? We would love to hear more about how you have coped all of these years into adulthood. We welcome you to write a sharepost to tell more of your story. You may help others who are facing some of the same challenges.
Thank you for sharing your perspective here.
1/ 2/12 4:57pm
I sure hope you still are answering people on this site. Hi My name is Debbie and I have a 4 yr old grandson that was just diagniosed with severe ADHD and was given a low dose of Ritilan. First let me say I raised my son now 23 who has ADHD/LD/BD and every other "D" it seems at times. Anyway as a parent you have to be your childs advocate period. He was never angery to the point of hitting or kicking But i had to stay on him constantly. I am very proud to say he just got out of the Marine Corp after 5 yrs not for any bad reasons just finished his tour and decided not to re enlist. He still has a few issues mostly anger related but not violent, has not had meds since he enilistd. I personally as his mom and I know him better than he knows his self., personally I still should be on meds but chooses not to doesn't like the way they make him feel. So i know how yo deal with his issues.
My problem lies with my grand son who is 4 now as I said before he has sever ADHD with hitting , kicking , biting. when he gets in thise moods he seems to just block out every thing or everyone around the house. Hsi eyes seem to glaze over and has no rhyme or reason just starts hitting. When he starts this behavior he has the most angry look on his face and in his eyes, he runs up to you and just starts hitting, kicking, even biting. His mom and I have tried everything to work with him but nothing seems to penatrate his ability to want to learn or listen. some times he is so super sweet but in a blink of an eye and with no reaosn he start hitting and kickin even with no provoking. He says he hates me and his mom all the time but loves us too his is like a light We have tried everything from books to reasonig , time outs to revoing all thiose had. what should we do? I have done this before, but I seem to be the only one who notices.
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Your writing and methods, each by themselves, are absolutely fascinating. Combined they make good reading, good teaching and generate thought. Mine, toward better ways I could have taught my children, and ideas and guidance for those who still face that task.
I've always contended that all children are not born knowing very much, they need love, patience and teaching. Children with ADHD and on the Spectrum demand a very special person but without guidance for themselves, such as this, failure looms large sometime, regardless of good intent. I think you are helping a lot, I hope more people find your work, and will read and comment, because we learn from each other.
Thank you very much Paul!
I appreciate your feedback. I think we are always learning whether we are the kids or the parents. There is no diploma given for parenthood...there is no graduation even when your children become adults themselves. The learning and growing keep evolving through new stages. I feel very fortunate to be able to write here and share my experiences. I am hoping that other parents will feel comfortable enough to share their parenting experiences as well.
As always...thank you for your comments.
Thank you once more for a wonderful article. I have a son w/high functioning autism. He is 4 1/2 years old & doesn't speak many words. Today, was one of our challenging days. My son hit me 3 times this morning, hit me in the face with a drawing board, threw blocks at the other kids, pulled his sister's hair out & banged his head against her. The list goes on. He was overwhelmed and tired. I need any ideas I can find. Our new occupational therapist is leaving on a month long vacation.