Ten Ways to Help Your ADHD Child Control Their Anger

In a 1999 study which appeared in the Journal of Attention Disorders (Kitchens, S.A., Rosen, L.A., & Braaten, E.B. (1999). Differences in anger, aggression, depression, and anxiety between ADHD and non-ADHD children. Journal of Attention Disorders, 3, 77-84) it was found that children with ADHD reported themselves to be significantly angrier than non-ADHD children. In addition, a 1994 study by Bird, Gould, & Staghezza Jaramillo found a very high co-morbidity of almost 95% of the children with ADHD studied also had conduct disorder or Oppositional Defiant Disorder.  Clearly, dealing with anger can be a chronic issue for children who are diagnosed with ADHD.

How can a parent or caretaker help a child who has problems managing their anger? 

Hopefully the following suggestions and tips can help.  But I want to preface these suggestions with my belief that if your child is having lots of trouble handling his or her anger then it is very important that you get some support and guidance from a behavioral therapist or psychologist.  I can provide general tips but what really needs to be done in most cases is to get a thorough assessment of the situation and your child's behaviors from a professional who can guide you step by step as to what to do based upon your child's unique set of circumstances.

• 1. You want to record your child's typical course of behavior when they lose control. You do this by doing a little bit of data keeping and communicating with school staff if your child goes to school. Divide up a sheet of paper into three parts. Label the first column as "Antecedent" and in this space you or the teacher will mark anything which preceded your child's behavior or angry outburst. This includes the time of day, people involved, and the activity your child was engaged in prior to his meltdown. The next column will be labeled as "Behavior" and this is where you will give a detailed description for what your child does when he cannot manage his anger. Does he swear? Does he get physical? And in the last column you will write "Consequence" and describe what happens after your child blows their cool. What is the school's response? What is your usual response? How do other children in the classroom or at home react to your child's behavior?

• 2. Take this data and begin to look for patterns and *triggers* to his or her outbursts. Does the behavior always seem to happen during unstructured or structured times at school or home? Is there any correlation between your child's behavior and the length of time which has elapsed between taking their medication and the present? Is the anger more exhibited towards other children or adults? Is your child over stimulated, frightened, or frustrated when these outbursts occur? Try to pinpoint common themes and triggers as this information will greatly help you to develop a plan of action.

• 3. Discuss your child's anger and subsequent behaviors with your child. Explain the patterns you are noticing and try to get clues from your child as to why these situations provoke him or her. Role play the situations which seem to cause the most trouble and provide replacement behaviors. For example, "When you are feeling frustrated because you don't know what to do next with your class work you need to raise your hand and ask for help."