This worked for my children, mostly :) For every action, there is a consequence and it had to be taught when the behavior was incorrect or dangerous. A child needs to be taught most everything. They just are not born programmed to fit into the society in which they find themselves. They know nothing about our expectations and rules, a blank slate.
I yelled more than I should have, but it was usually to get attention, then I pretty much followed your recipe for guidance and learned behavior. To explain why I didn't want them to do, that. And why. If it made sense, the problem stopped, although a few reminders were necessary, along with consequences for continuing the action.You're pretty smart!
yelling definatly does not work . specially since i've found that i myself am adhd . yelling just makes me want to yell more and louder than what the other is yelling. well it eventually just turns into one huge temper tantrum. many times i've come away extremly emotional from all the yelling and what i said. cause things are said without thinking and later on i regret majority of what was said . really learn your childs triggors that jump start a temper tantrum for example . a long car ride, your mood, overtiredness, hungry , those are a few of mine and if you find a way to deal with each of these triggors it can be much easier
I agree, in theory, but sometimes saying things quietly, politely, after I have gotten his attention does not work. He seems to not listen until I seem "really mad" and begin to yell. Then I sometimes, foolishly ask "Why cant you listen to me before I get mad?" He says, "I was too busy". I think he waits it out until i really mean business.... so we talk about this when we are both calm, and agree on cooperation, and all is fine, until the next time, and he ignores me again, and I repeat and repeat, and when I get loud, he gets loud back and then complies. It's a bad cycle, and i want out of it. So I have put parental controls on the computer that kick him off at 8 pm, and I can avoid that "directive" and then he is mad at the computer instead. As for the ball throwing, and me taking the ball, that would probably result in kicking, hitting, and biting around here, (him, not me).
I agree, in theory, but sometimes saying things quietly, politely, after I have gotten his attention does not work. He seems to not listen until I seem "really mad" and begin to yell. Then I sometimes, foolishly ask "Why cant you listen to me before I get mad?" He says, "I was too busy". I think he waits it out until i really mean business.... so we talk about this when we are both calm, and agree on cooperation, and all is fine, until the next time, and he ignores me again, and I repeat and repeat, and when I get loud, he gets loud back and then complies. It's a bad cycle, and i want out of it. So I have put parental controls on the computer that kick him off at 8 pm, and I can avoid that "directive" and then he is mad at the computer instead. As for the ball throwing, and me taking the ball, that would probably result in kicking, hitting, and biting around here, (him, not me).
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Thanks for the gentle reminder - all of us with children who have ADHD tend to fall into yelling mode at one time or another and it does us no good.
Hey there!
I hear ya. I know from experience that it really doesn't work to yell however enticing it may seem.
Thanks so much for your comment! Hope to hear more about your experiences in parenting.