The topic of "experts" has been coming up on Health Central from readers lately and I thought I might take a moment or two to explore this concept. I am going to tell you the truth. No matter what title I have above my name, I am not keen on this label. If you wander over to my profile you will see that I am a published writer, a mom to a child who has extreme symptoms of ADHD and autism, and I have a Master's in Special Education. Since my early twenties when I began my graduate course work in the field of Special Education there hasn't been a day that has gone by that I have not had to think about ADHD in some way. Before I decided to stay home with my boys I also worked with adults who had disabilities and many had ADHD in addition to many other diagnoses.
Despite all of this experience I would never call myself an "expert" because I think it is such an overused term that it basically has lost all meaning. It means different things to different people.
When I began to search for help for my son Max prior to any diagnosis I turned to the experts. My husband and I talked to a geneticist who told us that my son's challenges could best be described as "a murky business." Gee doc, thanks for that. Can you be more vague? The diagnostician who thought my son was on the autism spectrum told us that she knew one boy like Max who went to his prom. I was hoping for a better dream than this for my son's future. We have had an expert tell us that my son was very smart. Had another expert tell me that Max was just lazy. And still another told us that he was mentally retarded.
When my son was an extremely hyperactive four year old we had a psychologist come in to give us guidance. Max was doing things like waking up in the middle of the night and coming into our bedroom to turn off and on our lamp light. The psychologist recommended that we use this behavior to teach him how to better communicate with us. Bleary eyed and highly irritable from lack of sleep, I told the psychologist that we would be dropping off Max to her home in the middle of the night so she could teach him communication skills. Meanwhile we took the light bulb out of the lamp so he couldn't wake us up with a light show.
We have had experts who got into a verbal shouting match in our home of how to best teach Max. We have had experts from the school system who claimed they knew all about my child and what was best for him without ever meeting him. I have had an expert tell me not to worry, that she would be able to "fix" my son. Had yet another one bring me brochures about a farm community for adults with disabilities when Max was not even five.
Now you have to understand that I am an educated mother. I had taught people with multiple diagnoses and learning challenges for years. But all of this meant very little when I became a parent to a child that the "experts" had no idea what to do with. All of a sudden I was treated with disdain and as the "poor mother" who didn't know what was best for her child. Everyone had an opinion, a method, or a way to look at Max which never seemed to quite mesh with reality.
