So Joey took what I told him about Lawrence wanting to help, and used it to get through to Lawrence in a positive way. The next day, when I came to pick Lawrence up, Joey called me over to him. "I just wanted to tell you," he said, "Lawrence has been great today. He's really trying."
It was absolutely amazing to me that the situation could be handled in this way, given that our experience with his previous day care was mostly calls telling us we had to pick him up right away. All of the teachers at the JCC understood that kids need positive reinforcement and will cooperate better if you make them a partner in the disciplinary process.
If you're in the process of finding day care or afterschool care for your ADHD child (and have the luxury of more than one possible choice), you might want to start with referrals from other parents with an ADHD child. Also, it's well worth taking the time to quiz the director and perhaps talk to other parents whose children are enrolled with the program. Here are a couple important things to consider:
1. Education/experience/credentials of staff. Does the staff have any special training in dealing with children with ADHD?
2. Ask about disciplinary process. Is there a formal behavior plan that you can look at? How are things escalated? How are conflicts between children dealt with? At what point are parents contacted? If there is no clear disciplinary procedure, that's a red flag. This lack of a formal process might be okay for kids who are perfectly behaved (about as common as a unicorn), but it doesn't work for kids with ADHD, even kids who are high functioning.
If you don't get satisfactory answers to these questions, you need to keep looking. In the end, the work you do in finding the facility will pay off. I have had no more than two conversations with staff at JCC regarding incidents in six months. They're realistic and know that there will be conflicts and kids acting out occasionally, and they handle almost everything themselves without calling us. Obviously, the problem was with the elementary school after school care. Lawrence is the same kid at JCC as he was there.
No, wait, that's not true. He's much happier!
