"Grandma Nancy," my son informed me tonight, as he has done several times before, "does a much better job scratching my back." "Yes, I know, honey," I sighed, as I tried to slow down the tempo of said back scratching. "It's because she's much calmer than me." Since Lawrence was a toddler, my stepmoth...
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Hyper Mom with ADHD
sara gwin
Monday, June 08, 2009 at 11:09 PM
Wow! This article was right on target for me, a fellow hyper mom with ADHD. And in typical ADHD fashion, I wrote out a long, moving response, somehow failed to save it and lost the entire thing. And since the article struck such a chord in me that I needed to answer, I am going to write it all again. For me, though, it's a little different. My boys are 15 and 12 now so I'm not worried about what my daughters-in-law might say about me one day. Right now I'm anxious to know what my sons really think about me as a mother. Sometimes I ask them how they would describe me to others. And I have to drag answers out of them. I don't want them to tell folks that I have failed throughout their lives to keep our home on a routine, that I cannot keep the kitchen table free of junk mail and miscellaneous papers (some needed and some not!), that my clothes are in piles in their parents' bedroom, that there are magazines and other reading materials throughout the house wherever I've been, that the bathroom I share with them is piled high on every shelf and in every drawer with multiple bottles and tubes of girlie stuff women use, that I'm a workaholic who works 70 hours a week, who can't even sit down long enough to play board games or watch movies often with them and their father, and who feels responsibile for a myriad of people in her life. I want them to tell people that their mother is fun, creative, well read, energetic (yes, kinda hyper), interested in many things and numerous people, a talented writer, teacher, musician, outgoing, friendly, talkative, loves God, and is doing the best she can to manage the challenges she encounters as an ADHD woman. I want them to know I want them to be all they can be and will doing everything in my power to make sure that happens! One day my husband said to me about my second son, "He is just like you." To which I replied, "What's wrong with that... he's going to go far in life and enjoy the journey." It was so refreshing to read this article and know that I am not alone in this journey of motherhood, which is sometimes the hardest thing I have ever done.
--Mothering in Mobile
re: Hyper Mom with ADHD
Deborah
Tuesday, June 09, 2009 at 11:17 AM
Hi Sara,
The description of your house made me chuckle. You could have been describing our house. My husband has ADHD, so you can imagine what it looks like! I want to have someone come in to do a major cleaning, but I would have to spend days picking up first!
I truly believe that our kids will be fine. We love them, we care about them and we give everything we're capable of. Maybe right now they wish we were perfect, but I think that ultimately they'll value us for who we are.
re: re: Hyper Mom with ADHD
sara gwin
Tuesday, June 09, 2009 at 01:15 PM
Thanks for the word of encouragement. Yes, I feel like we're succeeding with our children -- in spite of our ADHDish behavior. And wow, your husband has it too?
How old are your children now?
I wasn't diagnosed till 2005 at age 45, so it's been quite a journey of self-discovery since then.
What kind of work do you do? For 25 years, I was in advertising and production, responsible for producing ads, marketing materials and all other deadline-related stuff. God has quite a sense of humor putting me in that field because I never started on time. But after I hyperfocused I was able to make all the deadlines, which drove some of my bosses crazy. They wanted me to be organized and detailed in their OCD way.
Let me hear again, if your schedule permits.
By the way, I've never blogged with anyone.
re: Hyper Mom with ADHD
Deborah
Friday, June 12, 2009 at 01:41 PM
Not only my husband, but also my mother has ADHD. She and my dad take care of our son a good part of the time (he's 6).
It's amazing what we can do with the challenges of ADHD. I used to be an administrative assistant. Initially I was terrible at filing and finishing projects, but as I realized that my job depended on being successful at both these things, I learned ways to improve them. When I really need to concentrate, I take dextroamphetamine, which is short-acting.
You're doing great!
re: re: Hyper Mom with ADHD
Wow! This article was right on target for me, a fellow hyper mom with ADHD. And in typical ADHD fashion, I wrote out a long, moving response, somehow failed to save it and lost the entire thing. And since the article struck such a chord in me that I needed to answer, I am going to write it all again. For me, though, it's a little different. My boys are 15 and 12 now so I'm not worried about what my daughters-in-law might say about me one day. Right now I'm anxious to know what my sons really think about me as a mother. Sometimes I ask them how they would describe me to others. And I have to drag answers out of them. I don't want them to tell folks that I have failed throughout their lives to keep our home on a routine, that I cannot keep the kitchen table free of junk mail and miscellaneous papers (some needed and some not!), that my clothes are in piles in their parents' bedroom, that there are magazines and other reading materials throughout the house wherever I've been, that the bathroom I share with them is piled high on every shelf and in every drawer with multiple bottles and tubes of girlie stuff women use, that I'm a workaholic who works 70 hours a week, who can't even sit down long enough to play board games or watch movies often with them and their father, and who feels responsibile for a myriad of people in her life. I want them to tell people that their mother is fun, creative, well read, energetic (yes, kinda hyper), interested in many things and numerous people, a talented writer, teacher, musician, outgoing, friendly, talkative, loves God, and is doing the best she can to manage the challenges she encounters as an ADHD woman. I want them to know I want them to be all they can be and will doing everything in my power to make sure that happens! One day my husband said to me about my second son, "He is just like you." To which I replied, "What's wrong with that... he's going to go far in life and enjoy the journey." It was so refreshing to read this article and know that I am not alone in this journey of motherhood, which is sometimes the hardest thing I have ever done.
--Mothering in Mobile