Adult ADHD and Disorganization: My Messy House

www.flylady.net

If you follow her program and be sure to use BABY STEPS you will be successful in keeping a clean and organized house and it will spill over into other parts of your life.  WONDERFUL and it's FREEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!1

start in one corner of a room spend and work your way around the room

use the 10 minute rule when it coes to cleaning out closets or drawers spend 10 minutes a day on the project and before you know it you will have accomplished the task.

3 box method 1st box garbage, 2nd box garage sale or goodwill, 3rd box things you plan to keep, just make sure the garage sale/goodwill box has more in it than the keep box!

I have tried all thre methods but have not stuck with one for any lengh of time  if you can good for you~

OMG!  You just described ME!!  I have an ADHD son who is 13 and i'm continually picking up after him.  He leaves trails of his stuff everywhere he goes in the house but I never thought of myself as ADHD. 

They didn't have the diagnosis when I was in school but come to think of it I had many of the issues my son has.  I wouldn't consider myself hyper but I can't stand to sit idol.  Even when watching TV I have to keep myself busy crocheting or doing something.  I'm not happy unless i'm creating something. 

I have this same problem, paperwork overflowing a 33 gallon storage bin.  I finally took three days off from meeting and appointments to go through this bin.  i enlisted the help of a friend.  I made folders and he filed the necessary paperwork in each folder.  I set one bin beside me and put paper for recycling in it and on the other side, set the shredder for those documents which needed shredding. It took several hours to get the bottom of the bin. 

Now as the mail comes in, I open it immediately, if I need to do something with it, it goes in a folder on my desk with my bills to pay, the junk mail goes right into the recycling bin and the papers that need shredding go in the bin next to the shredder.  On trash/recycling day, all the unwanted paperwork, paper, magazines get tossed out.

Good luck

There was a time when I had no problem opening our door to anyone, at any time of the day or night. I used a modified form of the Sidetracked Home Executives card file system, and stuck to it religiously. We entertained frequently, which was both a motivator and a reward.

Now, though, our house is much as you've described. I've become physically disabled. My life partner and my daughter have ADHD. I don't have it (officially), but I often describe some of the cognitive effects of fibromyalgia as "acquired ADD."  On top of the physical issues, I sufer from major chronic depression, and my daughter and I both have OCD. You'd think the OCD might help, but it leads to perfectionism and a terrible "if I can't do it right, I won't do it at all" syndrome. I think I've stopped buying the organization books, finally, having realized that the answer isn't going to be found in any of them (I say I think, because I fear that like a recovering alcoholic, I'll always be "recovering" from my organization book habit).

I recently found one tool that is making a serious dent in the piles of paper. It's a scanner that comes with propietary software - I'm not posting the name because I don't want to be perceived as hawking the product, but you can find it online or ask if you want me to post the brand/URL. The scanner has a neat automatic document feeder, and the software recognizes whether what you're scanning is a receipt, business card, or other document. It looks for key information (store name, amount, type of payment, makes a guess at an accounting category) and queues the scanned files for you to approve and "file" them on your hard drive. You can scan and scan, but wait 'til much later to go figure out how to categorize all those pieces of paper.

When I'm dealing with the paper, I want them GONE. So I shred most of them right after scanning, and I can't fall prey to second-guessting myself, or putting them in a "to be filed" pile. When I'm in the mood to do another kind of task, I open the software and "file" for a while, without the need for figuring out which file cabinet drawer to put things in, or looking for folders or labels or whatever other distractors pop up. It's much more efficient for me!

I'm starting to handle each day's mail by sitting down at my desk, scanning, taking action on each item as needed, and shredding the physical papers. That leads to fewer new piles.

With the books, my partner and I have recently started moving to e-books. I'd never consider that for some books that we recommend and loan out frequently, or for children's books and the like, but we have so many books that we read once and never touch again that it's a tremendous waste of space. I do adore the physical books, but I'm finding that it's much less tiring to hold my PDA (I'm considering a Kindle) than a hardback book, and if I forget a detail it's simple to search for it. I can also take lots of books with me everywhere, with no extra weight to pull me down/tire me, and never run out of reading material.

The clothes - well, I haven't found a good cure on that yet. My life partner has gotten MUCH better about doing his own laundry, and not leaving clothes dropped wherever he takes them off! And my daughter (18) does her own laundry. Getting the clean clothes put away is still an issue - and our cat loves nestling in a basket of warm, clean towels, resulting in fur sticking to wet, previous clean bodies after showers. But I feel certain we'll find a way to deal with that, too.

Best of luck in your own search for a better way!

Although early I recognized that my son has ADHD, I did not think that I had those same attributes.  I was married to a very controlling man with OCD and everything had to be in order.  Our house was large with lots of cupboards, drawers, closets and storage.  But, when I was divorced, my life spun into ALL of the previous comments on a very large scale when I moved into a small home by myself.  The struggle to 'unpile' is daily for me. 

I decide on a project by importance and begin by 'chunking it down' into small bits.  In order to try to keep my house more organized, I began to take extra stuff to my basement until I could barely walk around the basement.  It reminded me of the stories in the newspaper upon the death of recluses collecting newpapers/magazines in piles that left just pathways . . . well, it took 14 years, but my basement began to look have pathways. UGH!  Two months ago I decided to 'attack' the basement by small bits of time, one hour a day was my goal.  Of course, I could not 'stick to' that rule, but when I do go down 'there', I set my timer and spend one hour at the task.  I do the sorting into 4 categories, the 3 previously mentioned plus I have added a pile for things I want to sell on E-bay (I suppose that could be the same as a garage sale). Yes, I am gaining on the project and now have completed 1/3 of the project.  I have just cleared off an 8' table upon which to now sort the remainder of my 'stuff'.

And, I remind myself that my ADHD is a GIFT for me to live as I was born, but reign in, as if finely training a show horse.  Yes, I mentally award myself place ribbons for my various organizational accomplishments. 

Thank you for providing this venue!

I too have moved into a smaller space with most of the stuff from the big house and the broken marriage.  It's been like this for 6 years.  I have gotten rid of the obvious "drek", but most of what is left I like and it's in good condition.  What to get rid of???

I recently had a small but profound epiphany-rather than deciding what to get rid of, decide what to KEEP!  Start with the most useful or precious, and prioritize down from there.  When you have reached a reasonable, manageable amount of stuff for your living space, the rest goes one way or another-gift it, donate it, sell it, toss it.

Then you can feel good when you come home, have friends over, and find what you want when you want it.

When my sister & I moved in together a year ago, I started scanning bills and other things like the brochure from the library, etc.  But of course, that didn't last long, so now I have piles of paid bills and misc. papers.  I have tried to put my bills to be paid in a "Bills" folder, but I still forget to pay them.  We have had our water shut off 2 or 3 times, because I forgot to pay the bill.  I can't manage my checking acount properly to have all my bills set up to automatically get paid.  I take ritilan to get me going throughout the work day, but I am so tired when I get home, I don't feel like doing anything.  We have a 2-car garage that is filled with stuff that we need to go through.  I am glad this forum is here to support us so we don't feel alone.  And any tips or suggestions are always helpful.

Like you, I enjoyed my son's drawings from his first lines to his 3-D colored drawings of today.  I am also an art teacher and was an art major in undergraduate school.  I also drew all my childhood. 

I started a large album for his art work.  I started with the first line drawings and noted anything interesting during his drawing activities on the album pages.  What I ended up with is a nice art journal showing his development through his first ten years of life.  Picasso said children are really the best artists because they draw exactly what comes from their inner spirit.  The child is not so obsessed with drawing animals, people, and life around them realistically.  Colors are chosen for various reasons and the drawings are interesting from their unique imagination. 

I only placed drawings/paintings that were unique and special in some manner.  Besides writing journal notes I also added my son's age and the date the art work was completed. 

My mother saved one chalk drawing I did in second grade at a Brownies meeting.  I remember the drawing and the experience drawing with chalk very well.  I also remember liking the Brownie leader, Mrs. Wilson very much.  She seemed so nice and encouraging.  This picture was colored in fully and was of my home, with a swing set, tree on the top of a hill.  Our house was at the top of a long street that ran from the river up to the high school building.  I drew what was important to me in my seven year old mind at the time.  My mother framed this picture and I hung it in my room for years.  I was so proud of my drawing.  Eventually, I got rid of it when I did not want anything to remind me of being young (teenage years).  I wished I had kept it and placed it in my album I have documenting my life years.

Extra drawings and written stories of my son, I placed in x-ray boxes my husband has from his medical office.  You can use plastic storage containers too.  My son loved going through his history every so often with me.  It was nice for his self esteem.  We can always throw the stuff out later.  Or, leave it for someone else to throw away, ha ha!

you really didnt touch on more ways to help yourself. i am too a hoarder of paper(s), and have been pretty much all my life.

at times when it gets bad for me i have friends come over to help or to get me to have a rummage sale, so that i can do it again and they can come over agian, haha!

i just moved so now i have things that i collect in boxes, more stuff. i have a storage bin, box whatever, that contains more junk, papers, etc.

i have now noticed my son doing the same thing. the best way i get help is getting help from a professional and have my antidepression meds checked.

i have gotten better by  amking lists of the areas and taking one area at a time, small piles first, when i have finished i litterly give myself a gold star, the list being on the wall y the info. hub.

you an do it just get some support and give yourself rewards (not food, or money, etc. that can lead to bad habits there as well).

take care good luck.

kristin

I have always been organizationally challenged -- I have come to believe (both of my children have been diagnosed and are receiveing treatment for ADHD) that I probably have lived with ADHD my entire life but was not aware of what it was called. The best thing that I have done to get my life and house organized is discover a website called flylady.net ------------ You have to visit it to understand. There are products available and discussed, but you are not required to purchase anything to receive the benefits of the website. The things I've learned here have been a lifesaver for me and my family. DDC in Indiana

Oh my gosh - thank you so much for all the responses! I just had a chance to read them since I've been swamped and work and come home too tired to do anything but flop down.

I really love all these tips. I'm going to tackle my messes one by one, and this really helps.

Have you ever tried to look what is coming up inside of you as you skip from doing thing to the next? Often during one action there is the impulse to do something else, which is immediately followed, if one does not become conscious of it. Maybe it helps to develop an awareness for impulses springing up, then you can get some distance to the impulse, you can feel the urgency, but don't need to follow. Instead you just finish the task you are doing right now. Some impulses may pass without ever being acted out, because they turn out to be just ideas dispersing us into all different directions, some of them can be pulling like dreams. It is very freeing to learn to focus and not to be enslaved by all kinds of impulses.