Learning to Live With ADHD

A lot of what you talk about rings true with me - I also struggle with depression inconjunction with ADHD.

Although it's funny - you talk about having a hard time with tests and study to compensate. I can test well if it's stuff I know but if I have to sit and study... oy! No way am I able to do that. School was easy for me until I had to study. After that, it was all I could do to pass anything.

I think if I didn't have ADHD, my depression would be a lot more manageable. It's hard knowing you're not stupid but not being able to prove it easily.

Thanks for sharing your story.

A great story that I can certainly relate to. All I every heard in school was that I "wasn't performing up to my capacity" in terms of having an above agerage IQ, etc. But until my children were diagnosed, I struggled for years. I managed to be a B student in subjects that I excelled in, like English and history, but struggled terribly with math and chemistry. Its not uncommon for ADHD people to have problems with visual-spatial processing, or going back and forth between pages and transferring information. So SCANTRON or bubble sheets for tests are a nightmare, and I have a child who flunked tests, not because he didn't know the information, but because he couldn't transfer the answer easily to the bubble sheet.

There is no question in my mind that adult ADHD, especially for women, is the root of the depression. Because everyone in the world is able to do things differenty than you, you begin to feel so inadequate, and your self confidence falls. My first psychiatrist who diagnosed me, told me that depression is a misnomer in some ways, because you are overwhelmed by the stimulation around you (which is abundant in American culture) and that leads to anxiety, which is the root of the depression. The lack of leisure time or "sabbath" rest, contributes to the "depression."To this day, I spend most of my weekend trying to organize myself enough to get through the next week. Having ADHD is like driving the wrong way on a one way street.

I agree with everything and its nice to know i am not alone. I too have struggled in school and found it extremely difficult to get through exams without the anxiety that would follow. I would study my butt off only to come out with a just above passing grade while others seemed to breeze through it. I was diagnosed with ADHD in my early 20's, a few years before the i was diagnosed with depression. I was in denial and never did anything to treat the depression. This all stemmed from the moment i started college and couldn't keep up with the hectic lifestyle and work we had everynight. I was eventually told to leave because they thought i wasn't ready for the course (1 year massage therapy course). It was very frustrating and i came to believe i wasn't very smart and a failure.  I accepted all my faults and felt different then everyone else. I never felt whole as a person. When i was finally diagnosed with ADHD i felt a huge sense of relief. I wasn't just stupid, there was an actual reason why i am the way i am and there may be some help. I am still looking for the positive side of the ADHD but still see it more as a burden and annoynace then anything. I do the filing at my job and more often then none i am getting in trouble for putting them in the wrog place unknowingly. I have to spend time searching for the papers and it gets very frustrating not to mention doesn't help my self confidence. I have to say though i am quite the perfectionist and can multitask pretty well ( on my good days, when my head is clear). I am currently taking meds and so far they seem to help alot with my depression, as for the ADHD i am still struggling and am looking for some help; I currently live in Bermuda and found there is little to no support here. I just married almost 2 years ago and any talk about children makes my heart race. I am so unorganized in my own life how am i supposed to handle a baby or two? It terrifies me to no end. Please help me in finding the positives, i am depserately seeking any advice.