A mom coping with sons Adhd

By victoriahope Wednesday, November 19, 2008

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I am so glad that I finally can put a name to my sons behavior. Boy was it a challenge before the diagnose. My son is 11 and he really doesn't understands what's going on. I try to explain the best way I can. It's really hard when you have a step daughter that is mature for her age, She is also 11. she gets straight A's. and plus my husband is not helping at all. He doesn't want to help with any techniques. That makes me lose control because I am frustrated with my husbad. I know that I have to be strong for my son.

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Brenda Current

11/24/08 4:55pm

I too have a 9 year old son who has ADHD however, he is the sweetest most caring and loving child. He has a big heart and wears it on his sleeve. I too have a husband that thinks (All he needs is a good spanking for his behaviors). I have caused a riff so many times because I have stepped in to stop him. I try to get him to understand that this is not the way for him and that he is different.

Victoriahope

11/24/08 5:32pm

I am so glad that someone else feels what I feel. I am having a hard time trying to get my husband to understand that my son is not like an average 11 year old child. He doesn't care to here that. It makes me loose control sometimes, maybe alot when it comes to my son. then I am mad at myself because I lost control again. It bothers me a lot. I pray that your husband begin to understand your son. may I ask what your husbands name is. I am a praying woman. You have to find someone else that is going through the same things and pray for them and God will take of you. So lets do that for each other. Thanks so much for replying.

Brenda

11/25/08 11:06am

My husbands name is Harold but everyone calls him Pete. He is a truck driver for FedEx Freight. Very sweet person but can't understand all this stuff because he has never had to deal with it before. I myself have been in a world where I have dealt with several disabilities. My sister is bi-polar and other family members have some other disabilities and they turn to me for knowledge because I have been through so much and have learned a lot through all of it. I will pray for you and your family. Hope you have a much blessed and happy Thanksgiving.

Linda Parker-Eaton

1/28/09 2:44pm

I have ADHD and suspect my husband does as well (he copes way better than me . . .) and my two sons have it as well. Something I wanted to point out that often gets confused with ADHD is Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and the only way to diagnosis this is with an Occupational Therapist evaluation. I bring this up because I believe I am reading between the lines that the description of a mature step-sister implies your son might be immature and have like behaviors that are difficult to understand and deal with. This is one of the signs of SPD. SPD is nothing to fear but something that therapy can help your child with physical skills, verbal skills, organizational skills and sensory defensiveness.

Do you work with a behaviorist to help you to reach goals with your children? I have school goals, acceptable behavior goals and chores goals at home and every now and then need to tweak the goals (sometimes with a behaviorist) to get the desired outcomes needed. All the original goals were set with a behaviorist and it was the best money I ever spent on my family. We went from craziness 90% of the time to calmness 90% of the time. It turned around in about 2-3 weeks (but my kids were 5 and 3 years old at the time). I suspect it would take a little longer with older kids though. My biggest problem was my own consistency and follow through and it would make more problems for myself.

Good luck and reach out.

Linda

victoriahope

1/28/09 7:55pm

HI,Linda I am so glad that you replied to this. I have never heard of (SPD) before. I will look this up. He is currently seeing an phsycologist. He has been swtiched over to a new therapist. I will see how this goes. The last one did not help much. My biggest problems is my husband and his daughter. I am trying to get my husband to understand that so of the things that my sons does is linked to the ADHD. He still thinks that he does things on purpose. It's hard, it causes so many issues in our relationship. I just want him to be supportive. I love that fact that I can reach out to others that are going throught the samethings that I am dealing with.

I am glad that things as turned around for you and your family. That gives me hope.

Tamj

2/25/09 11:24am

My husband dont understand my 4 yr old either, she is impuslive and he thinks she can contol he behaviors. He thinks just because he aske her questions about her behavior as to what she is not suppose to do and why , and she answers them correct that she knows how to control her behaviors and not be so impulsive. Its like talking to a brick wall! He just don't get it!

A mom coping with sons Adhd

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