disconnected

when i was first diagnosed with adhd, i was relieved to know what was up with my crazy brain.  the medication was helping, i felt great.  but now it seems that i am not really progressing anymore, but maybe back sliding.  my doctor was going to try to take me off of the effexor and just stick with straterra.  but i dont know, i feel very down and disconnected.  i have some other issues going on in my life too.  but i still go back to my meds.  do i really need the effexor and the streterra?  but all this medication i am taking is making me extremely constipated.  and there isnt much the doctors can do about that.  so they put me on more medicine.  maybe... i need to find a doctor that knows more about adhd.  maybe... i need a brain scan to see if i do indeed have adhd and it isnt something like a tumor.  that goes back to finding the right doctor.  but when you live in the middle of small town michigan, it is not the easiest thing to do.  i am about 2 hrs from chicago and ann arbor.  anyone know any good docs that would understand my plight.  i am tired of feeling disabled!!  i know, i know, that is how i am letting myself feel.  well i guess i am just rolling in self pity right now.  i knew i wasnt normal, but i didnt think i was really not normal.  who am i?  disconnected.  that is who i am