My latest life failure - the post-divorce disaster otherwise know as My Finances, has taught me lessons particularly important for an adult with ADHD: Problems don't go away when you neglect them; procrastination generally makes things worse, not better; people are usually willing and ready to help if you can take the first step and admit that you need it. 

I've also learned another important but unexpected lesson... don't screw up your finances, because you really CAN'T go home again, at least not comfortably. And even if you are forty-something years old, with adult children of your own, you will always be a child in your mother's eyes, in her home, (dating while living with a teenage son in my mother's house is a whole SERIES of blog posts that I may risk writing sometime in the future!)

And just as the lessons we learn from our mistakes are often surprising, sometimes the actual failures come as a surprise as well - even when they really shouldn't be, as all the signs were right there. It has certainly been the case for me. And let me tell you, Perry was more than a little shocked to see that F on his grade sheet - and even more surprised when he couldn't convince us to get it removed from his record.  Now, to be utterly frank, I'm not sure Perry learned the lessons about responsibility, doing his best, etc. etc. that we had hoped he would from this experience. 

What he did learn, though, was that he never wanted to fail another class, because he had to make it up, at our neighborhood high school, during night classes when, what are known as, ‘alternative' students attended class. The AD/HD, education and child advocate part of me thinks of those students as failed by the system; the mother whose completely NOT street smart kid was scared to death that one day he'd go sailing out the classroom window, as desks often do, considers them gang-banging juvenile delinquents...  whoever said life wasn't full of contradictions!

Sometimes, the lessons we learn from our failures aren't deep, philosophical, or the impetus for major paradigm shifts in the way we think, act and live. Sometimes, we learn that some mistakes were simply too stupid - and their consequences so harsh - they are just not worth repeating. For me, poor financial management and failing geometry are two such mistakes that come immediately to mind!

Peace and Love,

Evelyn