Hi Smystic57,

I can hear the desperation in your voice! It's not easy living with ADHD family members! To answer your questions-

You mention that your husband is doing well without meds. But yet, you're having problems dealing with him. Do you feel he's doing well without meds? Is he getting any kind of help for his ADHD? I'm guessing that his ADHD is still getting in his- and your- way, thus causing lots of stress in your marriage and family. I'm wondering if he's seeing this, too and if he'd be open to getting some help with it, through seeing a counselor for himself and/or considering a few sessions with a marital therapist to help you both. When ADD is in the mix, there is often a lot of stress. Add a child or two with ADD and well...you know how hard it is, firsthand. It's imperative that you get help and support in living with this challenging situation.

There is a new book out that you might find helpful. It's titled "Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder", by Gina Pera.

When there's more than one family member with ADHD, life can get really difficult, especially for the non-ADD family member(s). Frequently, they feel angered that they are forced into the role of keeping everything going smoothly. It can almost look like it's enabling. It's important to NOT get into that situation; thus, every ADHD family member needs to have their ADHD optimally treated. I wrote a SharePost here that might be helpful to you. It's titled, "Taking Care of YOU When Your Family Has ADHD."

I am not aware of alternative medications that work as well as traditional ones. However, some find that programs such as CogMed help with certain aspects of ADHD, like working memory. Others find Dore to be helpful. You can Google these for more information. There is also a non-stimulant, Strattera, that you might want to discuss with your son's doctor. And there are a few others that are not stimulants (clonidine is one) that helps with hyperactivity, but not focus. If you've had no luck with meds, you might want to consider a 2^nd opinion just to make sure there's not something you've missed.

Lastly, I would get support through joining CHADD (www.chadd.org) and attending their local meetings so you can get the help and support you need.

I know it's hard, but hang in there!

Terry