Behavior modification does not work if the unacceptable behavior is being biologically driven.  I wish someone had told us this before we made my son feel wrong and weird because he couldn't make any progress this way.  My advice: talk to a good psycho-pharmacologist (a psychiatrist that specializes in medication).  It may take some experimenting, and it certainly will not be fast, but if you find the right combination of meds, the difference in his behavior will be huge.  Commit yourself to a long process and do not look for a quick fix.  It takes time to find the right doctor and then the right meds.  Almost as important:  accept you child as he is, and don't get angry at him for not being the kid you imagined he would or "should" be.  Don't compare him to how you or his father was at that age.  Try to understand what it feels like to be him.  Good luck!