Hi Jamesonswomom,
One of the best places to start is with a professional who specializes in child and family therapy. They can teach you to deal with the anger and how to set boundaries that stick. You can begin with Psychology Today to find one in your area.
Here are three more links that I am going to list here for some more advice/help with this very difficult problem. I am not recommending nor endorsing the last two, since I am unfamiliar with them.
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
Best of luck,
Dr. Diana Walcutt
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