I know what you are feeling. If a parent or gguardian has not experience this, they have no clue what this type of behavior can do to you physically and mentally. It seems the older they get their behavior may change, but it changes to something else to cause disruption in the home. The fact is of course you love them with all your heart, but you need a break, and no one seems to want to help you. They only thing, I'm praying for is when my granddaughter gets 18 years old or f inishes school, I will see that she goes in a  good group home, make sure she is receiving SSI, and I'm teaching her everyday how to do things on her own, and trying to teach her to be responsible. That's all you can do, and most of all PRAY! That's the only thing that helps me to feel better about my situation in dealing with my granddaughter. It's like you do so much for them, give them all the attention you can, and it just gets worst. Make sure you let the other kids know that you love them very much also, so that they won't feel as though the 14 yr.old is taking up all the time and running the show. Keep me posted, and let me know how you are doing. Remember!  to pray.