how should I start the wonderful journey of rearing a 3 year old adhd kid?
Q: what should i do with a 3 year old adhd kid?
Answers (2)
6/27/09 12:17pm
Hi there
So you just found out? Ya know...it will be a wonderful journey...hard too no doubt about it...but I bet you are going to discover some amazing things not only about your child but about yourself.
My youngest son has autism so...I had a little bit of a different journey but there can be great similarities in what parents of all special needs kids go through.
In my humble opinion here are some of the first steps to dealing with the diagnosis:
1. Find support. And what a great first step you have taken towards this by coming here! There are quite a few on-line support groups out there. I would do a search on yahoo groups and parenting a child with ADHD and see what appears. I could not have survived without my on-line support groups. I found information, compassion, understanding....by people who are going through the same stuff you are. And because you might not have much time for personal chit chats or coffee...an on-line group is very convenient.
2. Get some help. You want to enlist people to help you whether they be professionals, family, or volunteers. The one thing I did early on which I now regret is that I didn't allow people to help so much. I wanted to control everything. You cannot do this alone. You will need time to yourself. I felt so guilty for ever spending time away from my son...but in order to prevent burn out you gotta do it.
3. Know that your son is the same person he was before the diagnosis. The ADHD label will help you to understand what is going on and to get services. But he is still your child first...above and beyond the label. And you will always love him no matter what.
4. Research. Get all the information you can and learn about ways to help him. There is so much you can do and the earlier the better.
5. Allow him to show you his gifts. Find a creative outlet for him. All kids need to express themselves and for us...my son found art. He has this passion and...it has helped him cope all these years.
I seem to have written a novel here.
I hope this helps from someone who has been there. It is hard. You are going to face things you never imagined but...it is all worth it.
Let me know if there is anything else you need. We are here to serve.
11/19/09 1:05pm
My son is now 9 and he too was diagnosed when he was 3. He has a moderate form of autism as well as ADHD, and I remember breaking down when the doctor gave me the assessment. My biggest problem was that I didn't know anything about it. I totally agree with the other post, one of the biggest helps is finding out as much as you can. As your son gets older you will have different challenges to face. I also agree with the fact that you should never face it alone. Always have someone you can turn to when you need some "me time". I too always thought I was being selfish, but my son now spends most weekends with my mom and it has been great for all of us. She enjoys the quality time with him, he loves spending time with her and it gives me a break and allows me to focus more time on my other kids for a couple of days. I also agree with finding a support system. There were some nights (and still are) when I just wanted to cry. Sometimes you just have bad days, and most people don't understand. Unless they are in a similar situation it's hard for others to understand your challenges. One of the biggest challenges I have faced is school. Other kids don't seem to understand "different" kids. They like to make fun and call names and that can be extremely hurtful. I have always made sure to stay in very close contact with his teachers to make sure he is doing ok. One of the other things the teachers have been willing to do is talk about differences and how we should be more accepting. It's a one day at a time process.
One of the things my son loves is crafts. I bought him a kit that has a little bit of everything, paper, crayons, construction paper, google eyes, felt pieces, and more. He loves to create and has since he was 3 or 4, and I love showing off his creations. For birthdays and holidays he loves making everyone their own special creation. I have had to restock his supplies several times, but it is well worth it. He also loves his legos. He is so creative with them as well.
The biggest thing is love. As the other post said, they are still the same child and they don't understand why they feel so jumbled. Just love, love, love.
Good luck!
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By happy mommy— Last Modified: 11/15/10, First Published: 06/25/09
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Thank you so much for your response! I never knew that my question will be answered. It's really worth the time sinking in to your website. I am a Filipino. I am really amazed to hear something from you. Your response is a big help for me. I really have no idea what I am supposed to do. All I know that having a child with AD/HD is a gift if dealt with passion, love and direction but at the same time, a challenge to be taken seriously...I have spent hours reading all the articles you have published and it has given me so much encouragement and knowledge... Yes, I am interested in those sites where I can talk with people who has the same situation as I have. Surely, I will learn a lot from them...I will wait for the online groups you are suggesting me to connect with. By the way, any suggestion for creative outlet for my son?
Thanks again and may God bless you abundantly in all aspects of you life!
Happy Mommy