what do you say to someone who calls a child with ADHD bad?
5/10/10 5:39pm
Karen
Thank you for your question and welcome to ADHDCentral.com.
I am not sure what you are asking. Are you wondering what to say to a friend or relative that is calling their child bad, but the child has ADHD? Or are you referring to a teacher?
Please let me know a little more about the situation and I may be able to better share my perspective.
Eileen
5/14/10 7:38am
Karen
It is unfortunate that people judge or label others without first taking the time to understand. I think many parents of children with ADHD have felt the impact of having others judge our children. I know I have.
You may want to explain to your friend that it is simply not helpful to your other friend. That raising a child with ADHD can be exhausting and emotionally draining. Your friend needs support, not criticism.
Merely Me also wrote a post on "Why Some People Don't Believe in ADHD" that may help you understand where your friend is coming from and why she has certain beliefs.
Another good article to point her to would be "How ADHD Affects the Daily Life of a Child"
So often, people misunderstand ADHD, believing it is a disorder that impacts a child in school and don't realize that ADHD impacts every part of a child's (or adult's life.
There are many other good articles here but these may give you a good start.
What a great friend you are, looking out for your friend. I am sure your emotional support is welcomed and appreciated.
Eileen
5/12/10 12:32am
Well my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD. Her teacheras noticed her behavior and told me that should have her tested. I didnt want to at first because i was also label that way when i was in school as a child. I was on RIDLIN though. My daughter is currently on VYVANSE 50mg. She started out at 30mg. But it didnt work. The doctor went up on her dosage twice because she still has a focusing problem. She wont finish class assignments at school or at home. Shes constantly in trouble for not doing her work in class. Shes a little hyper also. The medicine just calms her down and she will do a lil work but not all the time. Should i go up to the highest dosage and see what happens? I also, only give her, her medicine on the days that she is in school. Will that effcet her to? Should i give her, her medicine everyday, wether she is at school or not? am i giving her an chemical imbalance?
5/12/10 12:32am
Well my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD. Her teacheras noticed her behavior and told me that should have her tested. I didnt want to at first because i was also label that way when i was in school as a child. I was on RIDLIN though. My daughter is currently on VYVANSE 50mg. She started out at 30mg. But it didnt work. The doctor went up on her dosage twice because she still has a focusing problem. She wont finish class assignments at school or at home. Shes constantly in trouble for not doing her work in class. Shes a little hyper also. The medicine just calms her down and she will do a lil work but not all the time. Should i go up to the highest dosage and see what happens? I also, only give her, her medicine on the days that she is in school. Will that effcet her to? Should i give her, her medicine everyday, wether she is at school or not? am i giving her an chemical imbalance?
5/18/10 8:27am
Bambi
I am not a medical professional and would not be able to tell you whether you should increase your child's medication. That is something that should be decided between you and your doctor. I would suggest keeping a diary of each day, keeping track of how your daughter is doing paying attention, completing homework, etc. This way you will have specific information to share with the doctor so together you can make an informed decision.
As far as whether or not you give your daughter medications on weekends or when she is not in school, that is a personal decision. Many people feel that because ADHD is not just a school day disorder, but impacts every part of your child's life, medication should be used on a daily basis. Other people use medication only during times they need to focus, such as school, or work for adults. It would be based on what is best for your daughter.
Eileen
5/12/10 8:00pm
Hi Karen
Well...you can always refer that person here for more information. 
That is really unfortunate...I have had that happen to me with my child as well. You have to make that decision as to whether this can turn into an educational moment. Is this person someone who would listen to facts or reason?
You could say something like...this child has behaviors that you may sometimes not understand. It doesn't make him bad. It means that we are in the process of teaching him how to control these behaviors.
Or you could turn it on the person by directing questions back at her...as in "What behaviors do see which you are labeling as bad?" and then offer the explanation in concrete terms.
I know it is hard.
Hang in there...let us know what happens. Thank you for your question.
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By karen— Last Modified: 12/24/10, First Published: 05/08/10
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I have a friend who keeps calling our other friends' son bad. i understand about ADHD. But how do i explain it to someone who does not have a clue.