Thursday, July 22, 2010 Maggie Richards asks

Q: Bullies at school

My son will be a 7th grader this year. He has been on meds since he was the age 6. Our school has a policy of no bulling. The problem is that none of the teachers or councilers pay attention to the bullies that pester my son. The only thing they see is when my son stands up for himself for being called names from the bullies. For the last ten weeks of school from last year he was only able to attend two weeks because they keep telling me that it is all his fault. They don't pay attention to the other kids around him in classes, hallways, lunchrooms, and ect. All they did was kick him out. The bullies got away with teasing him. What can I do to get the school system to start paying attention to children that have ADHD and Autism? That is what my son has. I am beginning to hate my own school system that I use to work for. The worst thing is the princible use to be the Special Needs Director and use to work with him and she has no idea what to do with him. I am ready to scream. I know that my son is not perfect and never will be. I just want to know what I as a parent can do to get this to stop kicking him out and kick the bullies out?

eeyor1986@hotmail.com

Maggie

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Answers (1)

Eileen Bailey, Health Guide

7/23/10 12:02pm

Maggie

Thank you for your question and welcome to ADHDCentral.com.

I am assuming from your question, that your son has an IEP in place. You are able to request an IEP review meeting. At the meeting, you can can specifically address this issue and discuss possible interventions, accommodations and put plans in place to help this situation. If you have the meeting and do not agree with the result, you are able to appeal and request a mediator to help resolve the issue. You are also able to bring along an educational advocate to help you find solutions to the problems your son is having in school as obviously these problems are severely impacting his ability to learn.

I am giving you some links to additional information that might help:

Share Post - Suggestions for IEPs and Section 504

ADHD - How to Write an IEP

Completed Sample IEP

Tips for Parents When Writing an IEP

Documentation and Reports to Bring to an IEP Meeting

IEPs, Section 504 and Accommodations at School

Do You Need an Educational Advocate?

When Teachers Don't Cooperate

I hope this helps. We will also be having a live chat on the site on August 31 from 7:00 PM until 9:00 PM with an educational specialist who may be able to answer some of your questions. Check back on the home page close to that date for the link to the chat.

Eileen

Maggie Richards

7/23/10 2:12pm

We had to do three IEP and none of them would work. They really did not listen to me, the school did what they thought was best for him. The last four weeks of school of last years he was kicked out and they said they would let him come in two days a week and work with a teacher to keep him up with his work so he could move on up onto seventh grade. Each day of the two day session was only an hour and a half long. Just for that short of time two days a week it brought up his grades tramindisly (?). In my eyes they have a room set up just for the really special needs kids. I think my school system needs to set up a room for each grade with children that have ADD, ADHD, and have the Autism aspect, that goes along with the ADD and ADHD like my son, that if they start getting frustrated with the subject that they can go play basketball (nerf basketball), swing, play a computer game, or some of their interest. I have been told there is a school in another school district that does that. I have talked to some of the aides in that classroom. I have had so many conferences I am tired of them. What should I do?

Maggie

Merely Me, Health Guide

7/23/10 2:38pm

Hi Maggie

I am very sorry to hear about your son's situation. Unfortunately I don't think this is all that uncommon in the school systems. They just aren't always equipped to handle children with special needs. It can be a drawn out fight for parents to get their child what they need. After experiencing a five hour IEP for my son when he was very little...and seeing what we were up against year after year...I opted to homeschool my son. I realize this is simply not a choice for most parents. I was lucky in that my career had been in special education but it was still a very difficult choice for me to make.

Another option might be private school. I just wrote up a back to school guide...take a look at it because I have schools listed for children who have ADHD.

If you have no option but the public school system...the way to get some compliance with what you want for your child is to take data and records and have everything in writing. You will need this to prove your case. The way we got services for our son was to write letters to the right people. You can also bring an advocate with you to the IEP meetings. Some parents go the whole nine yards and bring a recording device to the meetings and a lawyer. It can be extremely difficult. So...know what you want...and be prepared to fight for it.

I would begin by writing down the best case scenario of what you want for your son...and more so...what he needs so that he can learn in the best environment for him.

We are here to support you. Hope this helps some.

Maggie Richards

7/23/10 2:59pm

I do not know how to go about getting my son home schooled. When I subed for our school system I prefered the special needs classes. But their special needs are ones that have a savior learning disability. I live in Indiana. Just tell me what I need to do in my state to get him home schooled. He is very smart in a lot of the subjects, but his attention spand is about an hour and a half. For six subjects that would only be 15 minutes each lessen in one day. I am not affraid to home school, but I have never have done it before so I don't know what I need to do. Can you help me please to go through the proper channels in my state?

Maggie

Merely Me, Health Guide

7/23/10 3:18pm

Maggie...

I would investigate all your options at this point. Have you looked into the other school system or private schools? I want to warn that homeschooling is difficult but it can be a really good option for some kids and...the thing is..you can always have him go back to public school...you are not locked into it forever. I just don't want to bias you against other possible choices.

I am going to give you a bunch of information..please take your time with such a choice. Research everything.

Tammy Glaser runs a wonderful on-line support group for parents who are thinking about or have already decided to homeschool their child who is on the spectrum. Her group is called Aut-2B-Home and you can find subscription information on Tammy's web site. Just about any question you have...the people there will have an answer.

I don't know the laws about homeschooling in Indiana but here are some sites to help:

HSLDA

The Indiana Association of Home Educators

I just took a glance at the HS laws for Indiana...it seems this is a really good state to be homeschooling.

Start with these resources and really understand what you are getting into. There are so many opportunities though...homeschooling groups which meet up for socialization...there is a lot of support out there. But please make sure you can make the commitment of time and energy. It is a job.

Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you whatever you end up choosing to do.

Q: Bullies at school

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