Thank you for your question and welcome to ADHDCentral.com. Kudos for you for caring for your granddaughter throughout her life. Having a son (age 24) with bipolar and ADHD, I know it has not always been easy.
Coming up with some specific rules and goals for your granddaughter that your husband can agree to may be helpful. Write down the goals and the steps to reach each goal. Give a copy to your granddaughter and keep one for you. If your granddaughter is working toward the goal and making progress by completing some of the steps, you will ba able to measure how she is doing. This will also give you something to discuss with your husband and show him that she is trying.
For further information:
When Children with ADHD Become Adults
I hope this helps
Eileen
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